| |
Valentine's Day is all about fun. You can express love, you can share feelings and you can make it more interesting by introducing humor to the love-lorn spirits. Valentine-humor stories are a great turn on. Even if your are Nestler you would roll with laughter. The Valentine-humor presents you with various hilarious jokes and collections that you might not have heard of before. Crack these funny collections as a Valentine-humor note and see the response of your audience. It is a fun exercise.
Valentine's day jokes
Just laugh 1: A lady hurriedly visits this post office or work and notices a well-groomed, middle-aged man diligently stamping “Love” on cute pink envelopes. He seals the envelopes along with a spray of perfume. Curious about the going on, the woman asks him about the new kind of job he was doing. The man said he was sending out one thousand Valentine's Day cards with “Guess Who” written inside. When she asked “Why would you do that?”
The man said “Missus, I am a divorce lawyer”
Just laugh 2: A Spanish teacher explained to her class “All nouns in Spanish are designated either as masculine or feminine.”
For example “House” is called as “la casa” as it is considered feminine.
“Pencil” is called “el lapiz” as it is masculine.
A student wanted to know about the word “computer”.
The teacher divided the class into male and female and let them decide whether the machine should be a male or a female. They had to give four reasons each for their vote.
The mens team: They decided computer is a female (“la computadora”)
Reasons:
- Only the creator understands the logic of a female similar to females
- The native language is incomprehensible as females
- Small mistakes are kept in the memory and used later
- You spend half the salary on accessories
The womens team: They decided it is male (“el computador”)
Reasons:
- To perform any task you have to turn it on, quite similar to males.
- Stores loads of data but cannot think on themselves
- Is supposed to be a problem-solver but most of the times is the main problem
- Just when you bought one you realized a longer wait would have delivered a new and better model
The women's team won.
Just laugh 3: A survey was conducted to figure out when do men prefer to have sex. The result was on the days starting with “T”:
Today
Tomorrow
Thanksgiving
Tuesday
Thursday
Thaturday and Thunday
Just laugh 4: A poem by woman
“Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.”
A poem by man
“I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a damn.”
|
|
| |
|
