Funny Valentine Sayings

Want to impress your loved one on this Valentine Day? There are some excellent valentine funny sayings to add some moments of fun and laughter in your Valentine day celebration.

Your sweetheart is going to love these funny sayings on Valentine Day which are meant to lighten up some heavy emotional moments between the two of you.

Funny Valentine Sayings

• "I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.” -Tracy Smith
• "Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife." -Groucho Marx
• “Sales ad at a store: ‘You are my one and only' Valentine's cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.”
• "Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.”- Hoosier Farmer
• "Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties."- Jules Renard
• “I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”- Anon
• “Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is”
• "Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely."- Hawkeye
• “A bride at her second wedding does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.” - Helen Rowland
• My feelings for you no words can tell
  Except for maybe 'Go To Hell'.
• Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
  This describes everything you are not.
• Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
  But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
• I want to feel your sweet embrace
  But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

Humorous Sayings on Valentine

• "Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day." -Jay Leno
• "Falling in love is so hard on the knees."- Aerosmith
• “Love is blind ? marriage is the eye-opener.”- Pauline Thomason
• “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.”-Lily Tomlin
• “It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.”- Honore De Balzac
• “The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.”- George Bernard Shaw
• “The bravest thing that men do is love women.”- Mort Sahl
• “Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. Happy Valentines Day. (Note to her gardener)”
• “My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.”- Emo Philips

Valentine funny sayings add a little spice to your date on a Valentine's Day. These sayings give a relief from the serious quotes and sayings which all may not like. The hilarious valentine sayings make your celebrations memorable by providing some moments of mirth.