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Top 10 Conversation Starters for Your First Date

When you are out with a potential new mate, there are all sorts of challenges, but nothing makes the evening more difficult than being unable to find something to talk about. 


If the two of you are struggling to break the ice, you will want to pick out one of these top ten conversation starters for your first date to get the ball rolling.  



They’re more than just a handful of intriguing topics – if you pay close attention to the words coming from across the table, you could learn quite a bit about the person you are spending time with by listening to the answers and know quickly if it’s a match made in heaven.


What's good on the menu in here?  What looks good to you?

As the two of you just begin to get comfortable, the one thing you can guarantee you’ll have in common is picking out something to eat.  Though you will likely have different tastes, beginning with this question will give you some hints about what it is your date likes best – something you can ask after you hear his or her reply.  Talking about food, basic as it is, can lead into deep discussions about family traditions or an upbringing in a far off place.


What do you like to fill your free time with?


Regardless of how much the two of you hit it off, at some point you are going to have to find common interests to help your relationship progress.  If you both enjoy running, for instance, you two will soon be able to discuss trails you enjoy or races you have participated in.  Conversation starters like this give you the opportunity to understand what is important to your date – nobody fills up their free time with things they don’t enjoy, right?


Of all the places you have been, where would you most like to live?



Asking this question might send your first date in a couple of directions: either you bring up all the cities you’ve traveled to or are immediately shut down because one of you hasn’t been out and about much.  Neither one is good or bad, but the latter presents a challenge.  Has your partner in this adventure been unable to go far by plane, train or automobile?  Rephrase the question to see which places are on his or her bucket list and you’re off and running again!


What monuments are on your bucket list?  Why?


Speaking of travel, we often get lost in discussing large metropolitan areas when we tell someone about the places we would like to see before we die – but that doesn’t say a whole lot about the person themselves!  By asking about the specific attractions that demand his or her attention, you learn more about your date’s passions.  A man into art would want to hit the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York while a woman interested in water sports might go for a surfing museum in Sydney – either way, you really get to know someone.


What’s your earliest memory of feeling wonder?


As we grow older, it seems the ability to be captivated by something is drummed out of us by the responsibilities to our jobs.  In losing the ability to experience a feeling of excitement when encountering something new, the exuberance of youth slips through our fingers.  By asking what stands out from the past, this conversation starter will allow you to peer into your date’s imagination at a very young age – a good memory, to be sure.


Is there a band that you used to love and can’t stand now?


We all have a few songs we wish we didn’t know all the words to, which is why you should bring this up.  It’s a great way to have a laugh at each other’s expense and keep your first date moving forward on a lighter note.  She might have gone through an ABBA phase or he could have been obsessed with Savage Garden at some point, then everything went sideways.  Beyond learning how your date’s tastes have changed over the years, you will have a natural transition into what ticks the boxes nowadays.


If you had a million dollars that you had to give to charitable causes, how would you spend it?


It’s easy to spend money on yourself.  (We all have fantasies of winning the lottery and never working again, right?)  What matters in a relationship is each person’s ability to think beyond their own needs and make sacrifices for the other.  Believe it or not, this question goes a long way toward displaying the character of the person you’re talking with.  How quickly do you get an answer?  Does your date know about a particular charity in some depth?  If he or she can’t seem to come up with anything, well, you might want to skip dessert and get the check.


Do you believe in ghosts?


It might seem like a strange thing to ask, but you can bet it will help you two keep the conversation going.  Regardless of which side of the fence we fall on about things that go bump in the night, when you get started down this path you have no idea where the discussion will lead.  Who knows?  Your date may have had a creepy experience growing up on the farm or felt a cold presence brush past in an abandoned house – learning that would make your first date memorable, wouldn’t it?


Do you have a “lucky” object or article of clothing? Does it work?


Athletes are famous for the superstitions they have going into a big game – and many of us develop routines of our own as we move through life.  Whether it’s a necktie that always seems to help a guy close the big deal or the T-shirt a gal wore when her favorite basketball team won a championship, you might be surprised to learn what your date pulls on when he or she needs a little help from Lady Luck.  And, if it ends up being a part of his or her attire for the evening, you know how much your first date mattered!

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