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Body Language Flirting - Top 10 Flirting Body Language

There’s a lot about dating that is tough to read: you are trying to listen to stories and ask good questions, not to mention discern if your companion is interested. 

 

 

The good news, though, is that humans have a series of “tells” – a top ten body language gestures for flirting – that are nearly universal. 

 

As you devote your attention to the conversation, take little breaks to see if you can notice any of these cues. 

 

The more you are able to notice – and the more often – the better your chances are of seeing your date again.

 

Smiling

 

The most basic form of human body language is still the best to look for when you are flirting.  No matter how hard we try, men and women subconsciously grin whenever they are around someone who has caught their fancy – it is much different than a smile shared between friends or politely flashed to a stranger.  The coolest part?  It’s uncontrollable!

 

 

Playing with Hair

 

Though Hollywood would have you believe this particular nervous habit is confined solely to women, it is very common in men, too.  For her, it might be a few strands gently twirled around a finger.  He, on the other hand, will swipe a couple fingers over his ears – a gesture showing how self-conscious he is about having his hair appear unkempt.  This form of “self touch” is a clue body language experts use to determine when someone is attempting to comfort themselves.

 

 

Making Eyes

 


One thing the movies have gotten right, though, is the key role our eyes play in conveying playful messages to the objects of our affection.  Actresses during the black-and-white movie age, having to exaggerate the gesture for effect on the screen, are excellent examples to learn from. As we become more engaged emotionally and attracted physically, we seek out eye contact as a means of connection.  In truth, every kiss in history has been had in a couple’s eyes long before it ever reached their lips.

 

 

Turning Toward the Target

 

It seems an odd metaphor, yet it is perfectly appropriate when it comes to the pursuit of a potential mate: the hunter only hits what he or she aims at. A person who is attempting to move in on someone will naturally shift his or her shoulders toward the individual he or she finds irresistible.  This allows a “mirroring” effect for your witty comments and thoughtful insights to reflect off, a sign intense attention is being paid to every word.

 

 

Looking for Approval

 

Out in a group?  Pay attention to how often your date makes a quick check with you about what is being said.  Part of our natural human instinct for community is a desire to see we are in agreement with others and, as you would expect, we look towards those whose opinions we value most with higher frequency.  If someone tells a joke and you notice him or her sneak a peek at you as everyone laughs, you now know why.

 

 

Playful Touches

 

There is an invisible barrier placed between every person on the planet and every other person.  We can’t see it because we all set them up in our own minds, creating boundaries for a personal space that only a few family and friends are allowed to cross.  Someone that is flirting with you will find ways to make physical contact, even small body language gestures like a gentle touch on the elbow are signals of intent.  It’s a discrete way of closing the gap between the two of you, if only for a half-second.

 

 

Moving Next Door

 

No, you shouldn’t check to see if the person you are wondering about has rented the apartment beside yours – but you will notice him or her taking up some nearby real estate next time the two of you are alone or in a group.  Much like the previous tip, this is all about proximity: he or she wants to shrink the distance between you.  And, in the animal world, this is akin to marking territory – everyone else is being warned off.

 

Leaning In

 

A person that is interested naturally moves his or her head closer to the individual talking, even if only a little.  This is a basic bit of body language that displays the depth of attention you have grabbed – even if you are telling a boring story, he or she will give you a rapt audience.  Though it can be a bit of an ego trip, too, you can be sure it’s more about flirting than what you have to say when you’ve noticed the other signs showing up.

 

 

Meeting Halfway

 

The side hug seems very innocent and, in most cases, it is.  Unlike a full embrace, it is a way to demonstrate empathy without closing personal space too much – but it’s also a way to sneak into personal space when you are attempting to get close.  Have you just finished off an evening amongst a bunch of friends?  If you notice your fellow flirter slipping an arm around you, it’s a perfect example of him or her finding a way to get intimate in a sneaky way.

 

Having a Laugh

 

It doesn’t matter who you are, a person who is interested in you will find ways to make you feel funny.  (Your flat-out inability to miss the punch line won’t matter.)  It’s not really body language, per se, but it is a gesture that is not completely under conscious control. Much like the smile that comes with it, you will find laughter is an easy way for the two of you to develop a connection – which is why you are flirting in the first place, right? 

 

Much like the smile that comes with it, you will find laughter is an easy way for the two of you to develop a connection – which is why you are flirting in the first place, right?

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