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Does a Big Age Difference Doom a Relationship

So you have come across this wonderful caring understanding empathetic person who you feel is the one made for you. Or better still, custom-made for you. But a number plays the spoil sport. Okay, not just any number -- the age factor – the difference in the number of years between you and your dream person. Let’s face it – it is a factor in a relationship. But how major or minor depends upon you two. Take a closer look at some of the issues that can affect your relationship if you and your partner have a big age difference --


  1. Compatibility among the partners: The first and foremost requirement for any relationship is the compatibility of the two partners, whether they have similar likes, dislikes, interests. Interests and inclinations in life also keep changing with age. It is important for two people in a relationship to be in the same page in this regard.

  2. Health Issues: The process of aging involves health issues. If the age difference is too big among the couple, the younger partner may feel intimidated by the health issues of the older one. She/he might not yet be ready to face such dilemmas in life.

  3. Libido: Conjugal life plays an important role in any relationship. Partners need to be sexually compatible and match each other’s libido.

  4. Motive to be in the Relationship: It is important at the very inception of a relationship to sort out the reasons for being into it. If it’s love, compatibility and compassion, the bond is safe on a strong platform.

  5. Similar Goals: Every individual has expectations from life and from a relationship. It is important to be transparent about such goals in life especially if you are contemplating long term commitment. Clash of interests may sour the relationship later.

  6. New Outlook Vs Older Baggage: Chances are that the older partner will have a past – relationships or even marriage. The other partner should be comfortable in living on with any responsibilities that the older person may have from that stage of his life.

  7. Insecurity & Jealousy: Sometimes the older person may feel insecure, jealous, especially when the younger one is hanging around with members of the opposite sex of the same age group.

  8. Social Judgment: Be ready for social disapproval – friends and family trying to negate the relationship, puckering of brows at parties, or even some people popping up awkward questions. Patience and maturity are the key in handling such situations.

  9. Circle of Friends: The two partners will have a very different set of friends -- belonging to different age group, having different interests, interested in different activities.

If thinking about the difference in age between you and your partner makes you feel jittery, then this relationship is not meant for you. Bridging the gap is a matter of will, comfort and commitment. After all, love can never be guided by rules. If you are hit by the cupid, a mere number cannot deter you from seeking happiness forever after.


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