My Dear Valentine
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Corny Pick Up Lines

All right fellas, (and some girls out there who might be using pick up lines) let’s get one thing straight. Using pick up lines doesn’t always work. Sometimes you get a pity laugh and sometimes you just get the cold stare. It’s a chance you take.

So if you want to improve your dating odds, it’s best not to recite clichés, overused pick up lines and stuff you’ve read from the Internet hundreds of times. Because we have heard them all before, and repeating hackneyed and cheap pickups won’t get you laid—they will get you ignored. Believe it or not, being slapped is still better than getting ignored.

So whatever you do, don’t use one of the following corny pick up lines. They are beneath you, player. Think outside the box and avoid these lame pick up lines and ALL variations on them. (Unless of course you can think of a better way to make it funny) For your own good, we’ve also included some caustic replies—the likes of which you might be hearing if you go for a cheap line.

  1. So do you come here a lot? (Why yes, aren’t you suddenly the world’s most interesting man!)

  2. Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? (Sorry, I’m no angel. Maybe you should be in church?)

  3. Are your legs feeling tired? You’ve been running in my mind all day. (Running from boring guys like you)

  4. I hope you know how to do CPR because you always take my breath away. (Even better if I kick you in the stomach, right?)

  5. Do you believe in love at first sight? Should I walk by again. (No and no! But thanks for playing)

  6. Kiss me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we seen each other before? (Nope, must have been someone else. Go screw them)

  7. What time do your legs open? (For you, never)

  8. Those pants would look much better crumpled up and lying on my floor. (After you drug me and take me back to your dungeon? You sick freak)

  9. Feeling cold? I’ve been undressing you with my eyes. (Feel sore in the mouth? Because I’ve been punching you in the lip with my eyes)

  10. Hey, your eyes are the same color as my Porsche. (My eyes are dented up and stained? How rude!)

  11. It’s your lucky day, gorgeous. From every pretty girl here, I have chosen you to speak with. (Better call the runners up because I got a better offer)

  12. Are you from the state of Tennessee? Because you are the only 10 I see. (You like hillbilly humor, huh?)

  13. Does your name happen to be Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get. (My name really is Gillette. I don’t find that funny. Be gone!)

  14. You are under arrest. For stealing my heart. (Posing as a cop is a criminal offense. Leave now and I won’t report you)

  15. Is it hot in here or is that just you, sexy? (It is really hot in here. I’m going to talk to the manager)

  16. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? (I guess you’ll never know. If only you had actually said that instead of asking)

  17. Is that a mirror you have in your pocket? I can see myself in your pants. (Are you a tranny? How interesting)

  18. If I could arrange the alphabet however I want I would put U and I together. (Funny, I personally would put F and U together and walk away but that’s just M and E)

  19. Would you like to have sex and eat pizza? (God yes! I’m ordering a pizza boy, screw you!)

  20. Your father must have been a fine astronaut. Because your butt is out of this world! (My father is dead. You depressed me)

  21. How YOU Doin? (Wow, that makes me hot for Joey and not for you)

  22. You have the curves but I have no brakes! (Are you calling me fat?)

  23. You know what might look great on you? Me. (What do you mean? Like if you were dead? Like if my brother beat you to death? Hmm, I guess so)

  24. Pardon me, but I’m new here. Can I have directions to your place? (Whaaa? I have a security system and a gun, you know!)

  25. Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her the good news... that met the girlfriend of my dreams. (Is your mom hot and single?)

  26. What’s your sign? (It says NO in big red letters)

  27. Where have you been all my life? (Avoiding desperate men. Whoops)

  28. What’s a nice gal like you doing in a spot like this? (You’re right. I’m too good for this place. See ya)

  29. Is that a sunburn or are you always this red hot? (Yeah it’s a sunburn. I feel self-conscious about it. Please leave)

  30. Do you have a boyfriend? Do you want one? (Yes and yes! But you, no)

  31. Wanna see something swell? (Your upper lips maybe?)

  32. Hey, you have a beep on your nose. Beeeep! (This is nose rape. I will not tolerate it)

  33. I’m a little short on funds. Care if we shared a cab home together? (Sorry, I don’t give money to homeless people)

  34. The voices in my mind said to come here and talk to you. (The voices in my head say to kill this one)

  35. I’m conducting a field test of how many women have belly button rings. (I don’t think I count, I’m not a woman technically…)

  36. I’m like milk, I do your body good. (So you’re like the stuff that comes from a cow’s nipple? That’s really sexy)

  37. I’d marry your dog just to be part of your family. (Sorry, I only date straight men not animal lovers)

  38. I got thirst and you smell like my Gatorade. (Funny, you smell like stinky tofu)

  39. My buddy and I have this bet going that you won’t take off your blouse. (Sorry, I don’t wager with crack heads)

  40. Should I call tomorrow morning or just nudge you awake? (Have you been spying on me while I sleep?)

  41. So…you’re a girl, huh? (No, but don’t I pull it off?)

  42. Wanna see my hard drive? It ain’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy. (I do actually have a tech support question. Do you understand Visual Basic?)

  43. If you were a booger I would definitely pick you first. (And throw me away in the toilet, right?)

  44. Is your name Pepsi? Because I gotta have it. (Soda machine is over there I believe)

  45. Do you work for UPS? Because I think I caught you checking out my package. (Actually I meant to mark it, return to sender)

  46. I’m like Dairy Queen I'll treat you right! (Oh wow, are you the platonic gay friend I’ve always wanted?)

  47. (On the Internet) ASL? Why yes, I do speak American Sign Language.

  48. Can you see me? (Yes) Great, how about tomorrow night? (Oh, you suddenly went invisible)

  49. I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers. (I’m from Immigration. You’re fixing to get deported from this place)
 
There you go! So think original and surprise her the next time you use a line.

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