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Top 10 Dating Tips

The human mating dance is one of the most complex interactions civilization has come up with. 

 

 

The challenges of getting a man and woman on the same page lead many people to search for the top ten dating tips with the hope of finding love that much faster. 

 

Though connecting with the right person will inevitably take time – Rome wasn’t built in a day, after all – these pointers will help you get off on the right foot and, hopefully, lay the foundation for a relationship that lasts.

 

Understand What is Important to You

 

Let’s imagine you are going to the grocery store:  what happens when you go without making a list?  If you’re like most people, you end up grabbing a bunch of items you didn’t plan on buying – and you might even forget to pick up what you wanted, too.  Dating is the same way!  Those who are the most successful know exactly what they are “shopping” for and stick to it.

 

Whether you are looking for a long-term connection or in the mood to just see how things play out, you will be much better off if you find someone who is on the same wavelength.  If you don’t know what you want, you’ll end up with what you get.

 

Make a First Impression


This is a no-brainer, of course, but it bears repeating:  missing the mark when you meet someone often leaves you playing catch up from the start – and there is no guarantee you will overcome that first evaluation, either.  In order to give it your best shot, you must know what makes you feel confident – from your clothes to topics of conversation – and, if possible, do your best to learn about your date’s likes and dislikes.  A little bit of preparation goes a long way toward helping you avoiding a fatal faux pas.

 

Take Your Time

 

When you things go well from the moment you lay eyes upon each other, it is tempting to pick up the pace on your relationship – the future becomes something you plan for (subconsciously) before you know much about your date other than a name and birthplace.  Though there are occasions when love blossoms in a flash, this is most often a recipe for heartbreak.

 

The biggest key?  Your instincts.  If you feel like things are going too fast, they probably are.  Voice your concern to your partner and, if the issue persists, back away completely.

 

Keep Everything Light – Up to a Point

 

Dating tips frequently focus on how to land that first dinner and a movie, yet there isn’t a whole lot about what happens after you go your separate ways that night.  In the early stages of your flirtation, fun is the most important thing to have and you should do your best to cultivate laughter and joy.  Being able to share jokes is crucial to developing rapport between two people, just be aware there is a time when you will have to buckle down and be serious.  If you find yourself unwilling to answer the tough questions or engage in deep conversation after a couple of weeks, it might be best to move on.

 

Stay in Touch

 

Let’s be honest, there is a lot of bad information out there about dating.  The twists and turns of playing hard to get mean we are often left putting up a front of being unconcerned when we would rather be talking to our potential mate all the time.  Hollywood has caught on to this, referring to a “two-day rule” between exchanging phone numbers and making the first call.

 

This is all junk.  While you shouldn’t be sending dozens of messages per day, a quick text to say your date is on your mind is perfectly acceptable.  Imagine, for instance, you are tied down by a project that forces you to cancel a date.  Make a call to apologize, but add the kicker: “I’m thinking about you.  Makes it tough to concentrate on work.  Hope we can talk soon.”

 

Learn How to Communicate

 

Regardless of how many people say it, the gap between what a woman says and how a man interprets it is wide.  (And, to be fair, vice versa.)  Even within the genders, people develop specific “profiles” for conveying their emotions or attachment – some give gifts, others offer hugs, still others offer sentiments of appreciation.

 

In order for your relationship to grow, you must seize on the cues that will allow you to speak your potential spouse’s language.  If the two of you aren’t talking on the same channel, all you will hear most of the time is white noise – which will leave you unhappy and on the market again soon.

 

Listen Well, Speak Clearly

 

From your first date until death do you part, the most important skills you can have in a relationship are your ability to comprehend your partner’s needs and describe your own.  When you are dating, there is a tendency to hold back – you don’t want to say what you would like better or make a pointed comment for fear your date will abandon you.  (Yes, this is natural.)

 

Develop the habit of asking clarifying questions to determine what your possible mate wants.  As he or she describes an issue, say with you showing up late for a lunch date, reflect what you are hearing – “So, what I am hearing you say is that you feel like I’ve disrespected you?”  Expect the same when you are talking and, if the two of you put it into practice, you will soon have a very strong relationship.

 

Differences Aren’t Necessarily Dealbreakers

 

Whether you are willing to admit it or not, you are selfish – we all are.  Somewhere deep inside, you have a small child that screams out, “This is what I want!  Give me my way!”  As you are getting to know someone in the first several weeks, you will find one of the best dating tips is to allow those differences to slide for a bit.

 

If you are too particular, you will never find someone to be with.  On the other hand, it is one thing to have differing political views and entirely different issue if one of you is hostile to the other’s views.  When something sticks in your mind for an extended period of time, you’ll probably be better off going elsewhere.

 

Find Ways to Be Alone in Crowded Places

 

The world is encroaching upon us more and more every day.  With smartphones keeping us connected to our workplace and social media at all hours, not to mention the noise surrounding us in any given social situation, dating has to happen in a focused bubble amongst the distractions.

 

Invite your date to disconnect for an hour while the two of you go for a walk in the park.  Lean in close when the two of you are out at dinner to create a sense of intimacy.  Subtle decisions like these will bring you closer together, which is what dating is all about in the first place.

 

Honesty is the Best Policy

 

If you only put one of these ten tips into practice, this is the one it has to be.  Dating is tough enough as it is, yet when the truth comes into question it becomes ten times more difficult.  If you feel like things are going well, say that.  Wish something could be different?  Say that, too.

 

The message, when you withhold your thoughts and opinions, is that you don’t trust the person you are dating to handle what you have to say.  And, regardless of whether you have malicious intent or not, it is toxic to your relationship.


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