Good-humored repartee or playful flirting by someone doing it outside their marriage is considered harmless as long as one does not cross the accepted social boundaries and limitations.
Different people conform to different boundaries. For some, playful flirting is fine while for other couples it may lead to severe consequences, even separation sometimes. However, there is a fine line between flirting and cheating and one needs to learn how to read the red signs when this fine line from an innocent bantering gets blurred and transforms into a dangerous liaison.
Here is a list of some warning signs that you should look for to understand when flirting becomes cheating.
It is hideous
When you or your partner is hiding mails from someone known then that’s a red flag. Trying to cover up something that you believe would upset your spouse when he/she reads it is a sign that you are engaging in some unacceptable or undesired behavior with someone else outside your stable relationship.
Look out for a hidden sexual agenda.
Check if your relationship with the other person fulfills your sexual fantasies then you are surely on the edge of entering into a dangerous zone defined by the characteristics of cheating. Watch out the tone of your communication or your behavioral pattern if your attitude with the other person has a dominant sexual approach. Any communication that carries sexual overtures or has an hint of foreplay is certainly not a good thing. It is a sure sign that you are getting interested in establishing a more serious relationship with someone else outside your marriage or current union.
Check the time spent on talking to the other person
Take into account the time spent on the daily interactions with the other person with whom you have long been indulging only in playful conversations. It might turn out to be a highly dangerous situation if you devote too much time in conversing with the other person than your partner.
Looking for excuses and explanations
If you are rationalizing and offering justifications to yourself as well as others about your relationship with the other person then you might have entered the zone of cheating from gentle bantering. There will not be any need to give justifying statements if you are involved in an innocent communication. Look out for feelings of guilt or the frequent need you feel for rationalizing as it is a sure sign that you are falling for an unsafe friendship.
Check if your intimacy needs are met
If your relationship with the other person with whom you gently flirt at times is feeding your personal needs then it is a warning signal of something dangerous in store for you. When you notice that you feel the need to share intimate sentiments with the other person that you do not even share with your spouse then it’s a sign of contravention of your commitment to your spouse. Sharing intimate details about your marriage or your relationship with whom you are in a playful flirting bond is discourteous and disrespectful for your partner.
AAPOD : 10/04/13
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