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How to Understand Guys Who Want Long Term Relationships

Posted on :2013-04-24 in

Dating a man who actually wants a serious, long-term relationship is not always easy. And frankly, it’s a slightly different dynamic than dating a player, or an alpha male who must be “persuaded” to settle down and commit. The nice guy (but not too nice!) wants a commitment and already likes you.

 

However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your battle is over. Long-term relationship guys have their own set of issues and they’re not always easy to live with. They may be passive aggressive, self-sabotaging or have various mental issues to contend with, such as rage, sarcasm or even complete shutout when it comes to sharing feelings.

 

How can you better communicate with this type of “provider” for a peaceable, easygoing relationship? Consider a few tips.

 

How to Understand Guys Who Want Long Term Relationships

How an LTR Man Thinks

 

First, understand that even though you are dating a man who wants a serious relationship and isn’t deceiving you, and even though he seems incredibly nice, he has comfort boundaries, just as any man does. This type of man, and to an extent most men you will meet in relationships, do not want to talk about their feelings. They may be okay with complaining or joking around or even saying something like “I like you” or even “I love you.” However, this does not mean that they are comfortable with open, raw emotion.

 

Jealousy Issues


Therefore, right away you can see that communicating with your man, and interpreting his words to gauge his mood, will be difficult. An LTR type of guy is also highly territorial, being the “provider” type of personality. He thinks of you as his family and will often become very protective around outsiders, or other men whom you frequently converse with. He may become passive aggressive or even overtly aggressive if he thinks you are flirting. The best defense is to stay calm and reassure him that it’s okay for the two of you to find other people attractive, but that your commitment to each other is strong.

 

Controlling Behavior

 

Another quibble from the modern woman about the nice guy date is that he often seems to be controlling. The idea of a controlling man may seem offensive to you and rightly so if that’s not the type of relationship you desire. However, controlling tendencies does not necessarily mean your guy is bad news. He seeks to control things because it makes him feel comfortable; better yet, it makes him feel as if he is protecting you from the world. The best thing to do, if this behavior gets too much to bear, is to talk things out with him and remind him that you value your freedom and independence. He should begin trusting you more, and micromanaging less.

 

Last but not least, don’t resist his masculine ego or his teddy bear touching. Provider males want to be manly, gentlemanly and tough. There’s no need to be overly critical about this. And prepare to be touched (or prepare to talk to him about over-touching) because his touchy feely behavior is a sign of love and devotion. Setting boundaries in advance will be a good precedent so that he doesn’t upset the natural mood of the room.

 

There’s nothing wrong with a man who wants a long-term relationship, especially if he’s smart, cute and a thrill to be around. Just make sure you know what makes him tick!

 

AAPOD : 24/04/13

 

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