If Your Husband Doesn’t Appreciate You - Tips and Advice on Improving your Marriage
The mere perception of being taken for granted is awful to endure. Everyone wants to be appreciated, and particularly so, by their soul mate—their lifetime partner. Therefore, whenever a woman senses that her husband is unhappy, or not attracted to her, or even taking the marriage for granted, it can be devastating.
However, it is important that you not jump to conclusions in these matters. What you sense as taking you for granted, could be any number of things. He could be stressed. He could be pouting because of a recent argument. He might not be attracted to you, but this is not the same thing as taking you for granted. And of course, there’s the worst case scenario that he’s cheating on you or thinking of cheating on you. So for the time being it’s important to remain calm and take this problem one step at a time.
Why is He Unhappy?
First determine why your husband seems unhappy. Your first reaction to his disdain is probably to panic and think about the worst case scenario. However, figuring out his motivations is a more effective strategy. Does he still laugh with you? Does he still compliment your cooking skills, your artistic abilities, your work ethic and other matters? Is it possible that the only real problem you have is sexual?
On the other hand, some men can become frustrated when their wives play superwoman, or even worse, super-mom, and become an overly controlling or nagging presence. Stop for a moment and determine if you or he has changed since you started dating. Might the relationship be improved with a little sass, a little spark that you both enjoyed during dating?
Start Dating Again
No, we don’t mean dating outside the marriage, but we mean start dating your husband. Marriage and family obligations tend to rob us of sexual desire, since it is a lot of work and a lot of overtime. If you do not plan for a date night then you will probably never have the time to be intimate. Think back to when you were dating. Think about how much the two of you focused on your looks and tried your best to be interesting, funny, flirty and fun to be around. Tap into those feelings once again and see if this elicits any change.
Make sure you are intimate not only in body but in mind and heart. Is it possible your husband feels left out, underappreciated or forgotten and is acting out? Maybe a deep, long, soulful conversation of shared feelings is just what you need to repair the problem! It helps to share his interests and talk about things that he likes to do, rather than focus on your own entertainment and interests.
What if He Doesn’t Budge?
What if your husband remains cold despite all efforts? Then it’s time for a three part plan of action. (A) Stop letting his negativity hurt you. (B) Speak your mind, stating that you feel taken for granted and unloved, but do it in a rational, calm and mature manner. (C) Give him the gift of missing you. If you have been trying so hard to please him and nothing is working, then stop doing your usual routines. You might even consider a vacation by yourself. (Without the kids) This will either wake him up to the problem or will test his commitment to the marriage.
Don’t back down! Happiness is in your hands.
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