10 Signs You're Ruining Your First Date Unknowingly
A first date can turn to be stepping stone to wonderful new beginnings. But when you go to meet your date for the first time, it is best to go with an open mind. Expecting a lot from first dates may ruin your experience altogether.
If you meet your date with preconceived notions and try to fit her/him within the boundaries of your expectations it would perhaps steal spontaneity from the budding friendship. We all know that the key to a successful relationship, any kind of relationship, is to let every person have the space and ease to breathe free.
Here are ten signs that will help you identify if you are ruining your first date, albeit unknowingly –
1. When you try to portray someone you are not: It is always best to be who you are. Any relationship should be built on the platform of trust and honesty. Of course you would put your best foot forward. But that should in no way give your date misconceptions about who you really are. It is impossible to keep being someone else for a long time. When the true picture comes to limelight, it may be a surprise for your date, and may make the friendship crumble.
2. When you are too anxious to please: When you are sharing a day or evening with a person whom you start to like, it is normal for you to try and impress that person. Your date will really appreciate your small efforts to make her/him happy. But don’t go out of your way to please. That would set standards you’d find difficult to maintain. Also, most people like being around a person with a mind of his/her own.
3. When you keep talking about yourself only: We understand that you are anxious to share with your date about who you are and what your ideas are. But any relationship should leave room for the other person to share her/his mind too. Monologues would not only bore your date but would also project you as a self-centered person.
4. When you make things too personal: When you are meeting a person for the first time, remember that the person may not be willing to share all her/his life and secrets with you on the very first instance. Too much personal talks may make your first date tick you off. Give it time to develop. Don’t rush. Keep the mystery alive by letting certain things unravel in the future.
5. When you keep talking about your former relationship: Talking about your former relationship and overdoing it may give your current date an impression that you are perhaps not yet over your past. This may make her/him apprehensive about starting new beginnings with you. Badmouthing your ex is also a strict no-no since they convey the idea that you do not treat relationships and people involved in them with courtesy and respect.
6. When you try to change viewpoints of your date: Trying to impress your own ideas and views upon your date makes you seem to be a bossy person. And trust me, not many people would try to take a friendship with a control freak to the next level. There should always be room to accommodate, accept and adjust in any relationship.
7. When you try to force your date to a long-term commitment: You are probably head over heels in love if you are already planning a life with your date the very first time you take her/him out. But remember love at first sight does not happen to everyone. It is absolutely okay if your date wants to tread cautiously and know you a little more before going for any commitment.
8. When you cannot keep control of your amorous intentions: Physical chemistry is fine in a relationship. In fact, essential too. But making haste may give out wrong impression about your intentions. There should be mutual compliance before you get up, close and personal.
9. When you say things you don’t believe in: It is one thing to strive for harmony, but another to just go with the flow just to please. Do not hesitate to speak your mind. You need not endorse all the ideas your date nurtures. Only be pleasant and courteous while making your point.
10. When you are overtly critical and judgmental: Sometimes sugar-coating does help to soothe people and prevent hurting feelings. When you are too critical about a person or her/his ways, surrounding and dear ones, it only shows that the person has not made in to your good-book.
Remember, first dates may or may not turn out to be the beginning of a lifelong relationship. Your date may or may not be your Dream Person. But that should not stop you from enjoying a nice day or evening out with that person. Weighing down your first date with too many ideas and expectations will only prevent it from unfolding its own true colors. Who knows, by letting your hair down you may experience a date that would surpass all your dreams and fantasies!
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