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10 Signs Your Past Relationship is Holding You Back

Posted on :2012-07-12 in

Do you ever question yourself on how serious you are about your present relationship? Do you keep comparing it with your past relationship? Do you still have a soft spot for your ex? Do you still deep within nurture a hope for patch-up? Chances are you are into a rebound relationship that you entered into just to fill a vacuum.

 

But your present mate deserves something more than this surely. If you chose a person to be your special someone, chances are that there are qualities in this person that you appreciate and approve. Explore her/his full potential to give your present relationship your best shot.

 

It is very immature of you if you allow your past relationship influence to your present one in any way. Be wise enough to note the signals which point that you are still not out of your past. Here are a few of them unveiled for you –

 

1. When you constantly judge your present relationship by comparing it with your former one: Every person in this world is unique. Every relationship carries with it its own specialty. If you keep comparing notes by assigning parameters with respect to your past relationship, you are actually disrespecting your present relationship and also your present mate.

 

10 Signs Your Past Relationship is Holding You Back

2. When you look for excuses to be with your former partner: Sometimes it is good to avoid day to day contact with a person to erase her/him off your mind. Your present partner may not be very comfortable with the idea of you grabbing every opportunity to spend time with your ex. This also makes it more difficult for you to forget and let go.

 

3. When you make haste to get into a new relationship: It is good to give yourself some time and space after a breakup. Some people (many among your peers) may suggest you to get back to the dating scenario just to fill up the void created by the break-up. Turn deaf to such suggestions. Haste may make you err. Take a step only when you are ready to.

 

4. When you keep thinking about your former partner: If you are obsessed about your ex, chances are your partner will make out pretty soon that you are not giving your all to the relationship or to her/him either. This is a very upsetting feeling and can cause her/him to drift apart.

 

5. When you step into a new relationship just to overcome solitude: Sometimes a breakup makes you lose clarity of thought. You jump into a relationship without giving much thought to consequences. You are just too used to be with someone and being alone makes you feel grumpy and gloomy. You think being with someone, anyone, will act as a magic pill. Trust me, it does not.

 

6. When you don’t feel for your present relationship deep within: The basis of a romantic involvement should be depth of feelings for each other. When there’s lack of involvement, it does not take much for the relationship to crumble to pieces.

 

7. When the idea of getting involved in multiple flings crosses your mind: A sign of a fulfilling relationship is loyalty and devotion. When the attachment is strong and deep, you should be engrossed with your partner and your partner only. If you get into the mood of seeing many people at a time, it would surely cause a rift in your relationship sooner or later.

 

8. When you still feel hurt about your break-up: It’s okay to be hurt and resentful after a breakup. Nurse the wound. This is a process of overcoming the past. Go through it. Overcome it forever so that it does not create a shadow over your present.

 

9. When you realize you are not giving your hundred percent to the present relationship:To do justice to any relationship you should be ready to give it your best. A half-hearted relationship not only keeps you unhappy but is also injurious to the relationship itself.

 

10. When you resist moving on: Sometimes, in our subconscious mind, we cling to things that were dear to us long after we think we have overcome them. This hinders moving on with our lives. You are actually resisting to explore what you now have and can secure for your future to its full potential by cribbing for something that is no longer yours.

 

To conclude, let us gently remind you that to begin a new relationship and to give it your all, the first step is to accept that the ex relationship is over and out. A fresh start should not be bogged down with the burden of your past. This would be somewhat disrespectful towards your present mate and towards the relationship too. Take a deep breath and exhale the bygone. Great! Now you are ready to take a firm positive step towards a new beginning.

 

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