10 Signs Your Friends Are Ruining Your Relationship
If life was a bed of only roses with no thorns whatsoever, we shall all have our perfect soul-mate and live happily ever after. Sounding like a fairytale, too Utopian to be true? Well, we all want The Perfect Relationship with no hindrances or challenges marring the happiness and joys. But when we put this in the real world parameters, the situation seems not so very rosy always. Every relationship goes through ups and downs – some very much visible, others being subtly troubling. Unfortunately, even though it is very difficult to accept, sometimes the causes of the hindrances are people whom we hold close to our heart.
Of course, your relatives and friends do care for you and want you to be happy. But their concern for you sometimes makes them resist new beginnings in your life. Sometimes they fail to accept any person to be good enough to be your perfect match. At other times they fear that the relationship will not give you happiness and fulfillment. Also sometimes dear ones find it difficult to share you with someone else out of sheer possessiveness.
Your friends and peers are people who have shared with you your life, have spent a lot of time with you, and are conversant with what you like and what you don’t. When someone new steps in to your life, especially an important someone, they try to judge the person as per their notion of what you are. This creates the trouble in the first place as their judgment is a biased one.
Of course, you love and respect your friends. But every relationship has its own limits and boundaries. You should value opinion of your peers. But you should also realize when they are crossing the boundaries. Here are a few signs that would help you register the red alerts and take firm action for disaster management –
When a friend always snubs at your partner: Even when you feel that your partner complement each other perfectly, your friend always finds something negative in your partner and tries to establish that she/he is not good enough for you.
When a friend always talks negative things about you in front of your partner: If your friend always tries to act funny and portray a negative image of you in front of your partner thereby ticking her/him off.
When a friend nurtures an extra soft corner for you: If your friend is in love with you, she/he will obviously try to dissuade you from entering into a romantic relationship with someone else.
When a friend breaks your trust by disclosing your secrets: A friend who breaks your trust should be treated with suspicion. It is on you to share anecdotes of your life with your partner when you feel the time is right. It may hurt your partner if she/he learns something about you from someone else.
When a friend shows romantic interest in your partner: If your friend has developed a soft corner for your partner, she/he may try to win your partner’s affection too. So if you find out that your friend is spending too much time with your partner, hiding this fact from you, or somehow trying to woo your partner, it is time for some firm action.
When a friend does not treat your partner with courtesy and respect: Your partner expects, and rightly so, that you would make sure that she/he is treated with courtesy and respect by your peers.
When a friend is over demanding: Over clingy friends is not something your partner might appreciate as she/he would obviously like to spend some quality time solely in your company.
When a friend makes you disrespect or disregard your partner: If your friend tries to imbibe in you a negative image of your partner and also try to keep you away so that you get to spend less and less time with your partner, it could be detrimental to your relationship.
When a friend is always pointing out faults of your partner: Constantly nagging on how improper your partner is and how wrong you have been to choose her/his as your mate will make you wonder if the relationship is on the right tract with the right person.
When a friend encourages you to two-time: When your friend gives you ideas how flirting with multiple people can be fun and encourages you to do so, your friend is trying to kill your steady relationship.
Hope you are matured enough to understand that every relationship has teething problems. Harping on them would make it difficult for you to appreciate the other person involved in the relationship, and also prevent you from enjoying the different nuances of the relationship. Every person and every relationship needs time and space to bloom to its full potential. And you have to be ready to give that. Learn to set limits and maintain them too.
However, just as your friends should let you breathe easy with your partner, your partner should also be sporting enough to let you have fun times with your friends. She/he should accept that she/he may not be welcome in every activity you do or everywhere you go with your friends. Remember, life is all about making small adjustments to achieve long-time harmony.
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