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Problematic Relationship: Stay away from blaming game

Posted on :2013-01-10 in

Carla and Stephen were deeply in love with each other. It has been five long years passed since they are together. But now Carla is scrutinizing some problems with Stephen.

 

Stephen does not stick to a particular job for too long. He drinks a lot. He never listens to her carefully. When it comes to be responsible, he never ever steps forward. If she complaints about anything, he dismisses it with sheer anger. Carla knows that he loves her a lot. But what about her love, what about her expectations?


Like Carla, there are many women, who face the same issue with their man. They love a man from the deepest core of their heart. They expect something from their men. And when the expectations do not match with the reality, the tussle begins!


Problematic Relationship: Stay away from blaming game


You must feel the dilemma if you find yourself in the same boat! You, on one hand, cannot stop loving your man, and on the other hand, you cannot help hating him for his flawed traits. In such a situation, many women start blaming game. They continuously blame their partner for every tiny reason, which actually worsen the situation. The men tend to grow more stubborn than ever.


But this is the time, when you need to make a decision. Complaints will not make your man feel your irritation and concern; neither will it make the situation better for you! What should you do then? Should you keep quiet? Should it be the end of your relationship? Whatever it is, but you have to make a choice. To take the first step in this course, you have to stop the blaming game.


What is wrong in your relationship: Sit with yourself. Try to figure out the problem of your relationship. Try to trigger on the flawed part of your relationship. If possible, talk to your man, if he can throw any light on the issue. Talk in statements not in questions. State your likes, dislikes, and expectations. Also, allow him to say if he has something to say about you and your behavior.


Do not blame yourself: Many women end up with blaming themselves after every conversation. For example, “May be this is my problem” “May be I cannot understand you” “May be it is me, who is creating issues unnecessarily”, these are the common statements, which women say after every logic fails to work. This is wrong, as this kind of attitude will make your man enjoy your helplessness.


Be firm in your decision: If you come to understand that your man does not acknowledge your problem, even after you clarify it with him, then you may have to take a decision right now. If still, you can see some hope in your relationship, it is better to fetch a therapy for both of you. Try to convince him. If he does not want to go for a therapy at all, you should know that time has come for a serious decision.


You have only two options: leave him or stay with him without any complaints. Consider your self-esteem before making any decision.


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