Finding a good boyfriend when you are a teenager is a different animal than finding one as you get older. Attracting a good partner can be more difficult as people become more set in their ways.
But there are universal truths common to all ages — the first being your behavior: You need to be a good girlfriend to keep a good boyfriend. And that means adopting the same traits yourself that you seek in your Prince Charming.
You want a boyfriend who will be faithful to you, one who won’t cheat. And to accomplish this, you need a boyfriend who possesses at least a molecule of self-control. Otherwise, he will stray any time the next cute little thing winks in his direction. It doesn’t matter how much your boyfriend professes his love for you if he cannot remain loyal. A boyfriend who exhibits self-control is one you can trust, and when you trust your boyfriend, you have a better, more secure relationship. Notice if he is “into” you by paying attention to you instead of constantly having wandering eyes.
This trait refers to the willingness your guy displays to work on the relationship. A conscientious boyfriend is motivated to make your twosome the best it can be. He will talk through problems until you are both satisfied. A conscientiousness boyfriend also keeps promises he made. If you made a plan to take a day trip together next weekend, your conscientiousness boyfriend follows through with the plan. Don’t confuse spontaneity for conscientiousness. Your boyfriend taking you to the mountains for a hike, spur-of-the-moment, might be fun and exciting, but it doesn’t tell you much about whether he will stick to plans you both made.
Good Communication Skills
How you and your boyfriend communicate with each other can make or break the relationship. Behavior displayed in dating sets the foundation for the future. A good boyfriend wants to find out all about you, wants to tell you all about him and wants you to feel special. He should be generous with the compliments and find out through discussion what the two of you both enjoy that you can share together. When problems do arise, the ability to discuss what’s wrong without having it lead to a heated argument is essential to the success of your partnership.
No one wants a boring boyfriend or a relationship that has fallen into a dull routine. That could cause any desire you have for your honey to fade quickly. A good boyfriend is a bit mysterious and comes up with surprises that keep you guessing. Most gals cherish the idea of being swept away by her handsome prince, and a boyfriend who comes up with an exciting date night or a small gift for no reason is sure to please. You don’t want these surprises to occur all the time, though — they wouldn’t be a surprise anymore if that happened.
Romance is an important part of a relationship and provides closeness and sharing between the two of you. If there is no romance, the entire relationship suffers. With romance, both of you are content and enjoy all aspects of your time together more. The physical aspect of romance is important and encompasses all physical contact designed to provide comfort, including touching, caressing, hugging, kissing, massaging and holding hands. In the beginning, a healthy relationship usually bursts with wild passion and great infatuation. Because this behavior typically fades over time, it is essential for it to exist early on.
Trust in You
Although you want your boyfriend to take an interest in what you do when you are without him, you don’t want him controlling what you do, either. If he trusts you, you are free to enjoy a life separate from him. A boyfriend who doesn’t trust you pesters you with questions, displays jealousy, looks through your phone and text history and generally makes you uncomfortable. This type of boyfriend can also become angry and violent when you wish to have a life separate from his. When your boyfriend trusts your decisions when you are away from him, you have something to share with your sweetie when you get together again.
Sense of Humor
It’s important for you and your boyfriend to laugh together. It’s a powerful way to reduce stress and put you in a good mood. Laughing together makes the two of you closer. When you share an experience and laugh, you are creating intimacy. Laughter also produces some health benefits: boosting your mood, decreasing stress, lowering blood pressure and relaxing you. But a sense of humor works only if you both are in on the joke. You don’t want a boyfriend who makes fun of you — that hurts the relationship. If your boyfriend isn’t particularly funny, he can share humor with you by watching funny movies with you, listening to comedians and even by playing with your pets.
You can’t expect your boyfriend to read your mind to determine how to best support you, but you can expect him to be supportive when you tell him what you need. You want your boyfriend to encourage you, to have confidence in you and to help you solve problems. You don’t want a boyfriend who gives you unsolicited advice, however, or one who simply tells you what to do. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t have the answers, just being there to listen can be all the support you need.
Nothing can kill intimacy faster than having a boyfriend with poor hygiene. If you don’t want to kiss him because of bad breath or if you can’t be near him because of his body odor, your relationship could end. The way your boyfriend smells also plays a big role in your attraction level. This is what is meant by “having chemistry.” As relationship counselor Dr. Ian Kerner once said, “Follow your nose, it always knows!”
Your boyfriend doesn’t need to be a millionaire, but he should exhibit some financial responsibility. Arguments about finances are one of the main reasons marriages break up. If your boyfriend has accumulated a lot of debt, you can’t expect his financial picture to improve much after you tie the knot. Being in debt might mean your guy is irresponsible and can’t manage his behavior. If he handles money well while you are dating, you can probably count on him to be a good provider for the family.
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