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Learn the secrets to save a relationship

Posted on :2013-02-17 in

No matter how hard you try, there are always challenges to making things work when two adults are involved. In desperate times, we all hope to learn the secret principles to saving a relationship we care about.


It’s a natural response to the value we place on the other person.


The pressure of figuring out how to do so can become unbearable, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up! By applying a few simple tricks, you can rest assured you will be doing all you can to rescue the love you have done so much to build.

Learn the Secret Principles to Saving a Relationship -

Acknowledge There’s a Problem

It seems like such an easy way to begin, yet many people avoid this until it is too late. Sure, it seems like a real challenge to create a positive discussion by saying you are having trouble, or that your partner appears to be, but you are better off letting your feelings see the open air. Without doing so, you may have nothing to hold on to in the end except for the knowledge you could have said something before everything fell apart. The idea is to initiate a healthy conversation that will lead to growth and a deeper connection – something you have a great shot at seeing come to pass if you just speak up.


Avoid Getting Defensive

These tough conversations can quickly turn into a finger-pointing match if you aren’t careful. As you begin to really open up about what is going on, it might seem like personal attacks are the easiest route to go – and they are, but laundry lists of faults aren’t the most effective way to create positive change and get a relationship back on track. Whenever you feel the conversation wandering away from fixable problems you can work together on to one-sided pronouncements about fatal flaws, do your best to bring things back to what will be helpful. That said, if one of the issues is an addiction or physical abuse, it may be best to enlist the aid of a licensed professional.


Be Heartbreakingly Honest

This may sound like the worst thing to do when your relationship is on the line, but it’s just the opposite: clear communication about your wants and needs, as well as your willingness to work on your own faults, is the only way to go. If you fall into the trap of sugar-coating what is going on, you risk the other party not fully understanding the gravity of the situation. When a complex and deep-lying problem must be solved, it does very little good to have a superficial discussion about it – you’ll end up talking about the same thing again in a few weeks or months, if that. Agree in good faith to be as clear as possible about everything. The two of you will be better off for it.


Take a Break If You Have To

Tough as it can be, sometimes being apart for a while can allow the two of you to clarify your value to each other and crystallize some mutually-beneficial answers to the questions you both have. The ability to do some self-reflection considering your partner’s viewpoints might be better than continuing to talk without making much progress. If it helps, you can set a deadline for the period of separation (even if it’s just two or three days) and resume the discussion with fresh eyes and an open mind.

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