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Is living together before marriage a good idea...

Posted on :2013-02-28 in

There is an oft-reported fact in the media that says divorce is the end result for more than half of all brides and grooms, which is why more and more people are asking, “Is living together before marriage a good idea?” Putting aside the religious implications, there are some core arguments to be made on both sides of the issue – there isn’t just a cut-and-dried answer that can be applied across every situation.


What is certain, in this rapidly-advancing age of technology and evolving social customs, is that generations of tradition are no longer quite the guide they might have been before. And, with more and more children coming from homes in which their parents did not live together, it’s easy to see why. Though the choice is ultimately yours, here is a rundown of the basics on why you might say it is worth it and why it might not be after all:

Is living together before marriage a good idea?


YES

For most, the primary reason to live together before marriage is that it gives a couple the opportunity to see how things work on a day-to-day basis. The two of you will come home to each other every night and, after the honeymoon phases of the first month or so, the patterns of your life as husband and wife will begin to get established.


You’ll figure out a lot of things very quickly: how to combine finances, what it’s like to sleep in the same bed, how you manage to both get ready for work in a hurry and much, much more. These are pressures you cannot anticipate when you are merely dating. If things go wrong, of course, you will have found out before the expense of a wedding and anguish of a divorce – which is precisely why the two of you will have considered moving in before marriage in the first place.


NO

The fact of the matter, despite what popular opinion may be, is that there are all sorts of ramifications to living together that cannot be anticipated. The two of you may feel that you are merely “roommates,” but it is almost inevitable that you will begin to accrue property as a couple once you move in. Sharing the same space leads to buying furniture and appliances, items you will have to agree on before they are purchased. Just as with a divorce, they will have to be split up between the two of you if things were to go sour – only without the benefit of a judge or legal team, in most cases.


On a deeper level, what makes living together before marriage a good idea is exactly what makes it a bad idea: there is no commitment. Like strangers riding a commuter train, you have only agreed to move in the same direction for a period of time. One of you can hop off whenever he or she pleases and head to a different destination. When you make the sacred vow to love someone “until death do us part,” you are demonstrating the intensity of your love for him or her. Assuming you are grounded enough to understand how much work it will take to be married when you say “I do,” there is nothing better.



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