How to Overcome Insecurity in Relationships
Falling in love takes little effort but staying in love, definitely requires much more than that. Being in a relationship is one of the best phases of our life but it takes a lot to maintain them.
They can get complex at times when one partner, because of the most unobvious and useless reasons, starts getting insecure. Eventually insecurities start cropping up that aim at decaying the relationship.
If you have been feeling insecure because of your lover's actions or words, you'll need to take help from this guide and overcome it. Insecurity is a problem which needs to be cured well in time else it may make the relationship suffer unnecessarily.
#1 : Step out of your imagination
If you separate reality from your imagination, you'll be able to look at things in a much clearer way. Like they say, it's all in the mind. Stop presuming reasons for your lover's actions. If he/she is unable to answer your calls or speak to you, it doesn't mean he/she is speaking to or is with someone else. It may be possible that he/she is busy with some urgent work. If you keep bothering yourself for reasons that don't really exist and are just there in your head, you are definitely getting insecure.
#2 : Communication is the key
You are getting insecure because you love him/her deeply and the very thought of losing them rips you apart. If you are suffering with the problem of insecurity, one effective remedy to cure it would be with open communication. Speak to your lover about your insecurities. Don't beat around the bush. Be straight and up front when you let him/her know about the causes or incidents that have instilled this insecurity within you. If he/she loves you truly, I am very sure that he/she will provide with explanations that will comfort your heart and would help you get rid of your fears and insecurities.
#3 : Get rid of your past
Your partner is not your past! Stop feeding your insecurities with awful experiences from your past relationship. You ex was a cheat but does that give you the ground to think of your current lover as a cheat too? Don't attribute the behaviour of your ex to your partner, he/she has done nothing to make you insecure.
#4 : Love Thyself
If you want him to love you, you'll need to love yourself first. Start working on your self esteem and confidence. Do what you love and what makes you feel good about yourself. Take care of yourself and start paying more focus and attention on doing what you love. Indulge in activities and hobbies that just wouldn't let these insecurities to fester anymore. Spend time with your gang of friends and have fun. This will keep you occupied and lessen the chances of insecurities to crop up.
# 5 : Trust and Optimism
Affirm yourself that you are with the one who loves you truly. Trust your partner and focus on the good. Look at what's good in the relationship rather than getting insecure because of what's not going good.
# 6 : Don't let him rule your life
Do you have the fear of rejection troubling you? Or is it the feeling of abandonment that scares you? Relax! You need to think really high of yourself. If you keep fearing that he/she may reject you or abandon you, then it will definitely happen. Eradicate these thoughts from your mind because had they been true, you would have been single. Depend on him/her for every damn thing that accounts for your well being can give him the impression that he/she is your weakness. Collect yourself, hold your head high and admire yourself.
# 7 : Don't be a mind reader.
If you keep taking wild guessing on his/her being silent for some time, it may induce negativity in the relationship. Men generally relax by keeping quiet. Don't play a rapid fire with him by asking him questions about why he is quiet and the like. Moreover, don't try to read his/her mind. It's not essential that whatever you may be thinking matches what's on his/her mind. Give you partner the space to think his thoughts! It's everyone's right and we need to respect it.
# 8 : I want it this way
This relationship should be the way I want it to be is a clear cut example of you being trapped in the certainty trap. He/she is not a toy who can be programmed to function the way you want. Everyone's different and everyone acts and reacts to different situations differently. So, if your lover doesn’t react to something the way you would have, that shouldn't be a reason for you to get insecure.
# 9 : Sprinkle Love
If you are feeling insecure that you may lose your lover, get even more romantic with him/her than you were before. Shower him/her with immense affection that makes him/her feel loved and cared for.
#10 : Enjoy the good times
If you keep getting upset because of your insecurities, the true essence of the relationship will fade away. Keep the flame burning by fueling the bond with special moments of romance, fun and joy. When you are together, give away your insecurities and just focus on enjoying that time because it will never come back. Create memories that can be cherished in the life to come.
These were ten simple ways to address the problem of insecurities in relationships. Getting insecure is normal but fixing this problem well in time is a must thing to do. It can get severe and then the effects can be dangerous. So, if you really want this relationship to prosper and last till eternity, axe out the insecurities and nurture your relationship with love, care and trust.
AAPOD : 08/04/13
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