Menopause is not merely an extended bout of PMS, and it’s not purely psychological. When a woman experiences menopause, her body is going through a gradual and permanent physical change, and this change will affect her personality, temperament and moods. One of the first things to do in order to help her through this stage is to understand what is happening.
Don’t Take Things Personally
Menopause, in essence, means that a woman has reached the end of her fertility days. She will eventually stop menstruating and experience a variety of symptoms that will be demonstrated according to her unique personality. Some women will experience hot flashes, insomnia, mood swings, weight gain and become easily stressed. During this time it is vital that you not take any of her behavior too personally. She may be in a bad mood, and may lash out at times, but this should not be taken as a personal rejection.
Another important aspect of coping with menopause as a couple is to keep the lines of communication open. Don’t distance yourself, thinking that it’s best to avoid her and give her space. She may be craving reassurance and understanding from you. Make time to talk to her and show your support.
Monitor Her Health
Accept what is happening, be sure to monitor your wife’s health. Make sure she is getting the sleep that she needs, and is eating healthy and staying active. Ignoring these vital areas could exacerbate symptoms or cause other health problems. You may have to persuade her to seek medical attention if you notice a serious problem (such as menstrual problems, urinary problems or mysterious pains) that she doesn’t see. Avoid junk food, even if she’s craving it, since a bad diet will only make matters worse.
Provide Emotional and Physical Support
When it comes to emotional support, understand that your wife is feeling self-conscious, realizing that her youth is ending and her maternal desires are also winding down. This will make even a confident woman doubt herself, so you must continue to show her that you still find her lovable, sexy, vibrant and pleasant company.
Sometimes it’s not just about feelings—sometimes the poor girl is just dead tired. It will help tremendously to take on some of her regular duties, such as in cleaning, cooking or other chores, particularly involving children.
The menopausal years of life are a great time to pursue other interests a woman has neglected after years of child rearing or enjoying youthful interests. If she is not motivated to reach out and enrich her life then it may help to encourage her to join a book club or go to school to learn something she’s always wanted to learn.
What About Sex?
Menopause does NOT mean the end of sex. However, there are bound to be some changes in sexual desire, as menopause directly affects hormone levels. While hormone replacement therapy is an option, it’s not one a lot of women care to pursue. So open her mind to health supplements, as well as dieting and exercise as a means to address hormone depletion naturally. Women may not only lose libido, but experience problems orgasming or lubricating on their own. This may call for extra lube, longer sessions of foreplay (perhaps without orgasm or intercourse as a goal), and perhaps sex therapy as an extreme measure.
Menopause is not the end, so never view it that way. Life goes on and can even get better with the right attitude.
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