How to Fight Fair in a Relationship
No matter how much happy and healthy your relationship is, occasional fights cannot be avoided. Even if you are compatible with each other, still couples find differences in opinions and viewpoints.
These are the little loopholes where fights get generated and you need to know the rules to make it look fair. Often when two individuals fight with each other, they tend to forget that this can show them deadly ends-including the end of the relationship.
Hence you must try to end the fight in a constructive way by trying to make it fair and pleasant. Here are few ways you may adopt for the same reason.
Control your speech and mind your language: Fights are evolving in nature; they usually start with a normal conversation, turn into arguments and take the shape of a fight. Often your language and use of words have a big impact on how things shape themselves up. Avoid abusive languages or insulting words for your partner. Control your volume of speech and avoid name calling or putdowns. Disrespecting words are a big no no for a fair fight.
Keep focused on the cause of the fight: Majority of the issues start at nominal level and take a big shape because we stretch it losing your focus. Avoid bringing past issues in the current fight because that only accelerates the matter. Try to keep your points strongly and defend them. Do not keep on raising issues related to previous arguments or future anticipations. The fight has started today and should end on the same.
Don't play the blame game: It is easier to point fingers at the other but actually it is pointless because no one on earth is perfect. When you blame your partner, get ready for some equal reactions from his/her side. Blaming actually shifts you from the current issue and your problem remains unsolved. Your partner gets defensive and that heats the atmosphere up.
Never use force: This is essential for the males to remember that never hurt your woman physically like slapping or pushing out, this may hurt her both physically and mentally. Develop discipline inside you and control your anger, nothing can be as serious so that you will need to be physical with her. Even punching and making a hole or dragging and dropping plates are included. Violence in any form is to be avoided to call the fight a fair one.
Give a fair chance to your spouse to speak as well:And that might solve the problem. Most of the couples fight because there is a lack of communication regarding any issue and that can be solved with a cool head-not with heated arguments. Talk to him/her, listen and solve the matter.
Whenever you get a chance, stop the fight then and there: Easier said than done, but you can try it out for the sake of the relationship. If possible, take a time out or a short break to cool off and think how the problem can be solved. When you resume, you might end the fight on positive notes.
AAPOD : 01/04/2013
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