Top 10 Tips on How to Deal with Rejection...
No one likes the idea of rejection, especially in the dating world where our hearts are so delicate. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory.
That means if you are going to ask out some great looking people, you will have to deal with a “no” or a “yuck, no!” every now and then. The key to it all is how you deal with the rejection when it comes your way.
Here are the top 10 tips on how to deal with rejection and not let it deflate your motivation.
Know that rejection is a very real possibility
Knowing that you may be rejected can help you prepare for it. If you go in thinking there is no way you will get turned down and do, you will not be prepared for it and you may end up doing something even worse. (i.e. freaking out and making an even bigger fool of yourself) Accept the fact that people have the right to say no, and stop thinking of it as the end of the world.
Don’t take it so personally
There are tons of reasons why someone may turn you down for a date. They may have a lot going on in their lives. They may have recently been burned by a past lover. They may simply not be interested in dating anyone right now. You may remind them of their brother or sister. In all honesty, you probably don’t know a great deal about this person yet, so there is no real way of knowing the reasons behind the rejection. Assume the best, and move on.
Have a plan
If you know rejection is a possibility, and try not to take it personally, you can come up with a quick plan to save face and keep your confidence up. If you bought someone a drink and you think things are moving smoothly, and you ask them out and get a sudden “no”, it can throw even the best flirts off their game. The best thing to do is to be calm and cool. Don’t demand to know why they are turning you down, but simply smile, say you enjoyed talking to them and hope they have a good night and then move on. It can be as easy as that. You never know who may be watching, or listening, or whom fate will bring your way. By being nice in the face of a rejection, you are the winner.
Pat yourself on the back
Putting yourself out there can be difficult. Getting a rejection simply means you are confident enough to try, which some people can’t even muster up the courage to do! So give yourself a pat on the back for going for it. You may even want to reward yourself. Get that latest gadget or clothing you have been eyeing and feel good about yourself. Doing something positive for yourself will help keep your confidence levels high.
Don’t stay knocked down
The longer you allow yourself to mull over the rejection, the more it has the chance to ruin your confidence. The best thing to do is get back out there right away. You don’t have to ask someone out the same night, but at least going and talking to another new person and even doing a bit of flirting can help you gain all that confidence back.
Don’t set yourself up for rejection
It is good to have confidence, but don’t constantly be putting yourself in harm’s way (unless you have confidence of steel). This means you should avoid askiog someone out if you know they are already in a relationship, as this is almost guaranteed rejection, or if they don’t seem to like you. Don’t ask someone out when you’ve been drinking. Don’t ask someone out when you are dressed sloppily or already feeling down and in the dumps.
Don’t consider it an indefinite no
Sometimes you may catch people off guard when you ask them out and they may need some time to think it over. Don’t consider any “no” as a permanent no. The person very well may be kicking themselves later for not taking you up on the offer, so keep yourself approachable. You never know what may happen. If someone turns down your offer, you can simply tell him or her not to worry about it. “You just seemed like a nice person to get to know”, that sort of nice but nonchalant comment. If the person changes his/her mind, the door is open.
Have supportive friends
Try to hang out with people who build you up. This can help you get over a rejection more quickly, as they can help you laugh it off or help boost you up when you need it. Beware of false friends who like when you fail, or drama lovers who drain you of energy and confidence whenever they are around. A group of supportive friends can help you get over any rejections that might come your way.
The person with the most dates is usually the one who asked out the most people. The more you ask people out, the more of a second nature the whole thing will become to you, including the times that the answer is “no!”. You may be surprised when some hot guy/girl actually says yes and surprises you. Of course, the answer is always no if you don’t try!
Hang in there
Remembering that rejection is all part of the dating game can help ease the blow. Sometimes you will swing and miss, and sometimes you will knock it out of the park. Don’t let those rejections stop you from finding happiness and pursuing your dating dreams. Hang in there when a rejection comes. Brace yourself and move on if it happens.
Keep your spirits up and eventually you will get a yes! No one likes rejection, but following the above top 10 tips can help make the whole thing run a bit smoother. We all occasionally fall down sometimes…the key is to keep getting back up!
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