You know the feeling: you spot a good-looking man across the party and do your darnedest to get him to talk to you.
He smiles politely, but is clearly distressed, so you are left trying to determine how to bring a shy guy out of his shell if you want to score a date. What do you do?
No matter what, you have to play it cool – the quiet type is often easily startled like a forest animal.
However, if you pull together these seven tips, you might just find yourself wondering where to have dinner on your first date by the end of the night.
Flirt from Afar
Because he’s shy, chances are good this guy needs a sure thing before he’s willing to step across the room and talk to you.
This means you are going to have to sell him on the idea that you will be happy to see him. How?
Send over a few smiles and make eye contact repeatedly. That should be enough, unless he is incredibly awkward.
Make Your Approach
In the event he is too freaked out to make the first move, you will have to. Sure, you would rather be pursued, but sometimes the mouse has to run across the floor for the cat to chase it, you know? Glide gracefully across the room and introduce yourself to break the ice. He may feel a bit uncomfortable, yet he’ll know you are interested and quickly relax (if only a little).
Pay Close Attention
At this point, you are well on your way to bring this shy guy out of his shell, regardless of what you might think. A great way to seal the deal is by forcing him to talk about himself – many times, men like this don’t make an approach because they assume they will be unable to speak. Listen to his answers and see where you have common ground, it will come in handy later.
Don’t Back Him Into a Corner
It might seem odd, but social situations probably make your shy guy feel a bit claustrophobic. What does this mean from you, apart from a reversal in the usual roles? He will probably begin to feel like the room is closing in around him if you talk to him too long. It’s not always the case – some guys soften up after a few minutes – but make sure he doesn’t feel trapped or he will disappear into the bathroom.
Get Hands On
You will be surprised how effective the slightest of touches can be in relaxing someone who is painfully shy. After you have engaged your guy in conversation for a few minutes, gently rest your hand on his elbow and see if he will accompany you to get another drink so the two of you can continue your conversation. If things are going well, he’ll turn to join you.
Let’s say, for the sake of argument, you have followed the previous five steps and aren’t able to make any headway. You might be getting a bit frustrated, but you must realize that knowing how to bring a shy guy out of his shell doesn’t mean it will be settled in five minutes. Take your time.
Schedule a Meet Up
Assuming you have been successful to this point, then you can move in for the kill. Ask your shy guy when you can see him next, even offering up a few places you could go. This is where listening intently as he described his interests can pay off – you will have some ideas about where he feels most comfortable, which will make him all the more likely to go with you…and start the romance you both want.
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