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Have an Open Relationship...

Posted on :2012-11-07 in

The conventions of society are changing more and more all the time – and one of the major changes is an increase in the number of couples that have an open relationship. 

 

Once thought to be something done out on the fringes of society, the idea has gained increasing popularity after the sexual revolution of the late 1960s and came to public knowledge on a wide scale after it was revealed Newt Gingrich asked an ex-wife for one in order to avoid divorce. 

 

The challenges of successfully navigating a close romantic connection with one person while engaging in physical intimacy with several are almost too many to count, but it can be done if you keep these four tips in mind:


Have an Open Relationship

Respect Your Partner

If you are going to have an open relationship that works, you must have significant respect for each other. That is, you must be able to genuinely honor the other as you pursue sexual activity with others. 

 

You might think it’s irrelevant, but you must consider your partner’s needs and stick to them.  In this case, you would want to make sure you both engage in safe sex practices to avoid transmitting diseases and refuse to bring up other conquests in comparison with each other. 

 

All of these qualifications must be laid out and agreed to in advance, otherwise you set the stage for resentment.

 

Offer Support

For some people, the idea of a committed relationship in which monogamy is optional will seem pretty strange, so you will want to make sure you back up your partner in the face of weird looks or contempt from others.

 

If the two of you are willing to work together on this, there must be a safe emotional place for both of you to discuss the difficulties and encourage each other.  Over time, the awkwardness will dissipate, but the mutual strength you develop will serve you well in the long term.

 

Make Rules for Sharing

If you two own property together, it might be a good idea to set up a schedule during which each of you can use it.  Let’s say, for the sake of argument, one of you wants to have an encounter at the home you own. 

 

Get out the calendar and set an evening during which this can occur and set up some parameters – even providing a hotel room for the other to sleep in while one of you enjoys themselves, if necessary.  As in other aspects of your relationship, communication is key.  If you are both being upfront and honest, your chances of success are much better.

 

Understand When Changes are Necessary

Despite the two of you having the best of intentions, it may end up that the both of you end up seeing the world differently as time passes. It is perfectly acceptable for the two of you to close your relationship off again or part ways, just be mindful of each other’s needs. 

 

In some cases, couples benefit from regular “check in” sessions to make sure everyone is on the same page and having the best possible experience.


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