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Have a Safe Relationship

Posted on :2012-07-26 in

Lurking in the shadows of life, there are millions of abused wives and husbands hoping for a way out. 


No one should have to wonder if they can have a safe relationship but, unfortunately, some are unable to get out of a pattern of choices that lead to serious physical or psychological injury. 


What is it, though, that makes one relationship better than another?  How can you avoid pairing up with a bad person in the first place?


Here are five things you must do in order to ensure you experience the kind of loving connection we all deserve:

Have a Safe Relationship

Believe In Yourself

One of the deepest-held secrets of those who create unsafe relationships is a major lack of self-esteem. 

When you seek to control someone, you are admitting – at least subconsciously – that you are not good enough for them to stick around by choice. 

Sadly, those who are most vulnerable to being manipulated often have low opinions of themselves, too.  If you simply affirm your own worth, you have taken a positive step.


Maintain Personal Time

A safe relationship is one in which both parties are able to have friends and spend time with them separately.  Let’s say, for example, you meet someone that seems wonderful at first. 

Naturally, you want him or her to meet your buddies so everyone knows who you are talking about.  If you notice a pattern over time, however, that your ability to see those people diminishes – and never without the man or woman in your life – then it’s possible you are being treated more like a possession than a person.


Voice Your Opinions

Regardless of how long you have been in a relationship, both parties should always feel like they can share their thoughts about everything without serious consequences. 

Disagreements, when handled respectfully, are often the way to growth for you as a couple.  If one of you seeks to dominate every discussion and have his or her way at all times, then you are putting dominance ahead of cooperation.  This is a recipe for disaster and, if the person becomes forceful, possibly injury.


Evaluate Confidence Each of You Displays

Of course, no one gets into a relationship hoping it ends up being a nightmare, but the long process of change from dreamy to horrifying often happens so slowly you aren’t aware it’s going on. 

When you find yourself alone, take time to look at the balance of trust.  Does it seem like one of you is always accusing the other of something? 

Are you often on the receiving end of 20 questions about where you have been and with whom?  Ultimately, the two of you must be able to believe in each other completely.  If that’s not possible, everything is in danger.


Find Help

In the end, if you are unable to trust your partner with your health and security, it is likely time for you to move on.  Even though you might feel trapped, there are plenty of resources available to ensure you are removed from a bad situation. 

Local churches and charitable organizations are great places to start, as they are often prepared with resources to help those in need better than anyone else.

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