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Have a Mature Relationship

Posted on :2012-07-03 in

There’s nothing in the dating world that is more frustrating than the back-and-forth competition to wrest control – it’s something many couples do until they figure out how to have a mature relationship. 

 

The fact of the matter is, you are better off working together towards common goals than fighting to have your way, but how can the two of you create that?

 

Well, it’s as difficult as you want to make it.  Are you willing to begin sacrificing blending your desires with those of your partner? Can you forgo your pride and share your thoughts freely? 

 

If you are able to mix these five ingredients together, chances are you will have a mature relationship – and one that will be the envy of your neighbors for as long as you both shall live.


Have a Mature Relationship

Respect

Thought “love” would be the first thing on the list?  Well, you were a little off base.  Loving each other is absolutely critical, of course, but that is a given in your relationship (hopefully). 

What often happens – or what some people perceive – is condescending words or looks begin to be exchanged instead of constructive comments.  If you don’t have a deep respect for the other’s opinion and contribution to the relationship, you might as well call it quits.

 

Vulnerability

This almost goes hand-in-hand with respect, as each of you has to feel safe sharing your most intimate hopes and fears without any apprehension about being judged. 

If one of you is struggling with the death of a friend, it’s easy to know you will have a sympathetic ear listening.  You and your partner must be just as willing to describe all the irrational ideas you have, too.  Without this kind of trust, you can’t develop the depth necessary for a mature relationship.

 

Accountability

You probably go to work and have someone telling you how your performance rates periodically – whether weekly or every few months.  These sort of progress reports allow you to make changes and do your job better, right? 

Why not do the same with your relationship?  By setting up a time to discuss instances where you have disagreed or talking about ways you felt offended (even if it was unintentional), you have eliminated the possibility resentment will fester and eat away at you two from the inside.

 

Counsel

Try as you might, making a mature relationship go the distance takes a lot of work.  Find some people you can consult with throughout, whether you are just starting out or have been married for decades. 

You might find that bouncing ideas off a trusted friend who knows both of you can help you see obstacles you might not be able to.  Connecting with someone who has experience clearing those hurdles will make your relationship that much stronger.

 

Recharge

There is nothing more damaging to the health of a relationship than the feeling that other influences are creeping in to steal time. One of you might be working late on a project for work or the kids might be taking up a lot of the week, but you must schedule time for the two of you to reconnect without distractions at regular intervals. 

No phones, no children, no distractions.  Just the two of you.  Once you set this plan into motion, you will be amazed at how much better things go.


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