Getting a man’s attention without being too provocative can be pretty tough, but it’s even more difficult when you are trying to get a shy guy to like you.
Sad as it is to say, those who have trouble talking to anybody are often the type of people who are most likely to be kind and courteous – if you approach them properly.
Because he’s so introverted, getting him to make the move and talk to you is incredibly difficult, so you will have to step up and seize the initiative in order to make things work out.
When you decide to reach out, keep these four things in mind:
Flirting Has to Be a Priority
In order to break down the walls he has put up, you will have to really turn on the charm. Laugh at his jokes.
Be interested in his stories. Ask him questions to learn more about his hobbies and intellectual pursuits.
These won’t necessarily get him to break down right away but, over the long term, it’s the best strategy to help you get him out of his shell. And, once you do, you will have likely built a solid foundation for your relationship going forward.
Be Conscious of His Need for Space
Let’s say you meet this guy at a work function. He’s likely to be off to the side or grazing along the food table in order to avoid “real” conversation. Approach him, but don’t linger so long he becomes uncomfortable.
Someone who is reserved is more likely to politely ask to be excused and hide in the bathroom for a few minutes if you ignore this. Once you notice him shifting his eyes around looking for an “out,” step away and check back with him later.
Never Apply Pressure
Regardless of how attracted to him you are, he still has to chase you. This may mean you are in for a challenging game of cat and mouse – one where the mouse has to keep grabbing the attention of the cat – but that will make it all the more worthwhile when he finally comes around.
As you do so, though, be aware that he might feel like you are backing him into a corner or attempting to manipulate his emotions. Understand his sensitivity, up to a point, before you demand he meet you for coffee and see where things go.
Be Honest About Your Intentions
If he still isn’t taking the bait, then it’s time to be a little more direct. There is nothing wrong with telling him what you want, just be gentle in doing so. You might want to scream, “WHY AREN’T YOU ASKING ME OUT?!?!” but you are more likely to end up driving him away.
When you find yourself getting impatient, sit down beside him and throw a nearly-emotionless statement at him. Something like, “Hey, I would really love to get together sometime and learn more about each other. When do you think you would be up for lunch?” Given your heartfelt tone, he will probably stutter out an answer and you’ll have a date!
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