Four Steps to Break Up with Someone on Valentine’s Day
No matter how you slice it, bringing a relationship to a close is an incredibly difficult experience. However, there’s a whole other level of difficulty when you want to break up with someone on Valentine’s Day.
Some might say you are cruel or heartless to do so on love’s own holiday, but at the same time you must consider all the proclamations about a bright future together made on February 14th.
As much as it will hurt the person you’re dating, it is unfair to string them along when you are unable to muster deep feelings for them. In order to do it right, there are four key things to keep in mind:
- End Things Early
Since it’s Valentine’s Day, chances are good the two of you have made plans to spend the evening together. If at all possible, you want to find a way to express your feelings well in advance of this.
Let’s be clear: you shouldn’t send a message at dawn to break the news (you’ll learn why in a moment) but you should find a time to let your significant other know before the anticipation gets to be too much to bear. The later in the day it gets, the worse you look.
- Be Respectful When Breaking the News
Though coming face-to-face could turn out to be very challenging in these circumstances, you should be willing to at least make a phone call to bring things to an end.
Using electronic messaging – whether email, texts or an IM – is completely uncalled for. Even if you’ve only been dating for a short while, the fact it’s February 14th makes it all the more important to have true, personal contact when expressing your feelings.
You are already giving the person a bad memory, and possibly breaking a heart, so you want to think about how insulted you would feel if someone didn’t have the guts to tell you with his or her own voice.
- Honesty is the Best Policy
Breaking up with someone on Valentine’s Day is going to be tough, regardless of how mild your attraction is to them. The easiest way to describe your reasons is to be straightforward, yet tactful.
Tell them you’ve been unable to invest yourself or feel as though there’s no spark. Whatever you do, keep in mind that the challenge telling him or her presented you is in no way comparable to how bad it is to receive the news.
Chances are he or she has been looking forward to the day quite a bit and the stunning reversal will be devastating, so remember that when you want to say “This is really hard for me” – it’s much worse for him or her.
- Get While the Getting is Good
You might be tempted to linger – or your now-ex might try to drag you into a long conversation – but you are better suited to handling the situation and moving on.
Be brief and to the point, answer a few questions if you feel like it, but bring it to a close as soon as you can. Continuing to talk about everything will only make it worse.
Say what you must and express your sympathy for having to do so on Valentine’s Day, then step away. It’s time for both of you to begin the process of getting on with your lives.
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