First Coffee Dos and Don’ts
When you get to that first coffee, “dos” and “don’ts” will be running through your head the whole time – which means you are more likely to forget what your date is saying or make a catastrophic mistake.
No matter how you slice it, there’s always a ton of pressure when you score a meeting with the hottie you’ve been dreaming about.
The good news, though, is that the true list of things you should or should not do is actually pretty short. If you stick to these four things, you will have a great chance of planning for a second date (and maybe more).
DO: Offer to Pay
Though you might think this is just for guys, it’s actually important that both genders pull out their wallets. For ladies, it shows you are willing to support yourself and not banking on him to pay for every meal you have together.
It’s a sign of independence, one that will do you well in the long term. For men, you must insist on footing the bill. Though you might think it a nod to classic convention (it is), there’s really nothing worse than splitting a bill that will only amount to a few dollars. If you can’t handle the cost, she’s going to be wondering why.
DON’T: Get Wrapped Up in Saying the “Right Thing”
Obviously, you want to be polite and civil throughout your discussion, but that doesn’t mean you should go fishing for affection by only saying what you believe your companion would agree to. It’s a bad policy because, at some point, your real beliefs will end up coming out and you will look like a fool.
You don’t want to say you love scuba diving if you are terrified of water, right? So, when you feel tempted to stretch the truth, take a breath and be honest. “I’ve never been in deep water like that, but I might be willing to try someday” is a much better answer, even if the chance you will do it is very slim.
DO: Reflect Back What Your Date Says
This is a solid practice for good conversation, but is even more important when you’re out for that first cup of coffee because it shows you are paying attention.
Repeat back some details and then expand on them, if you have an opinion, or ask further questions to increase your understanding. You don’t have to go through what’s been said point by point, yet you should be thorough enough to indicate you understand. Everyone, guy or girl, likes being heard.
DON’T: Linger Too Long
You might not be too worried about the staff at the coffee shop, but you can guarantee they know exactly how long the two of you have been taking up a couple of the few seats they have available.
If the two of you have been talking for an hour or so, that ought to be enough for an introductory conversation. In the event things are going well, propose the two of you adjourn to a nearby sandwich shop or take a stroll to continue your conversation.
This is a subtle way to signal to your date that you would like things to progress. It sounds like a mind trick, but – if you like what you’ve seen and heard so far – it’s a great way to see if your companion feels the same.
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