Nowadays, it seems like the dating game is murkier than ever. With so many marriages coming to an end after just a few months or years, you might be trying to find out if someone is divorced as you develop a new relationship.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong if you end up connecting with a person who has been on the wrong side of “happily ever after,” but it’s still something you have to take care in talking about.
No matter how long it’s been since the courts granted your new flame’s petition to dissolve the marriage, you can’t be sure what the emotions surrounding it are. Here’s how to tell if you are interested in someone who wants to make the second time better than the first:
Hesitant About Getting Close
In most (though certainly not all) cases, people who have had a bad experience with holy matrimony often end up extremely cautious going forward. Having made the mistake of flying in guns blazing or flat out ignoring warning signs, they are naturally inclined to sit back and learn more about anyone they meet before committing to pursuing a relationship.
Be patient and pay attention to how they react when you discuss marriage as a general subject. If there is a bit of pushback on the topic, it’s possible they are not ready to think about walking down the aisle again.
Be wary of someone who is eager to move into that type of relationship, too. It could be that they are rebounding or – as scary as it sounds – addicted to being married.
Seem to Harbor Ill Will Toward an Ex
We all go through bad relationships – nobody escapes dating life without at least one train wreck to talk about with their future spouse. However, if you find your love interest hanging on to animosity for someone that did them wrong, it’s a good indication the wound is very deep.
Any long-term relationship, whether there was a wedding or not, can cause this sort of anger. An emphasis on “how much it cost” to split up, in particular, might indicate the fact lawyers had to get involved as they parted with the ex in question.
That said, with the increasing number of couples that live together for an extended period of time, it could just as easily be that the amount of common property the two had necessitated a negotiated settlement when everything went south.
They Avoid Questions About Their Past Relationships
As mentioned above, every one of us has bad times when we are dating – it’s unavoidable. We should, in time, be able to discuss those experiences honestly and share what went wrong or why the problems came up. It’s a healthy way of dealing with the experience and, used properly, turns us into better partners when we finally meet the right person.
If your sweetheart isn’t willing to discuss those other connections, it could be that the emotions are still too raw. Though you must be gentle in pursuing answers, be mindful of the fact it could be the result of nasty scars due to infidelity or abuse that led to a divorce.
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