How to feel Comfortable in a Relationship : 3 steps
The early days of dating are always a blast – every moment is a new experience together and it seems like a rush of energy fills each encounter. Over time, though, you have to learn how to feel comfortable in a relationship that has progressed beyond that first stage of infatuation.
The temptation, as the months and years pass, is to settle into a rhythm and forget the excitement you once felt for each other. Don’t do that! Not only is feeling bored all the time a tough way to live, it’s not healthy for you and your sweetheart.
Though it takes some effort – and you will naturally have peaks and valleys – you can keep the home fires burning fairly hot by making a commitment to keep each other at the forefront of your attention. Here are XX rules to help you make the spark reignite the flame of your love day after day, week after week and year after year as long as you both shall live:
Contrary to what you might think, this isn’t permission for those you afraid of commitment to avoid the altar. The simple fact of the matter is that, as the obligations of daily life begin to exert more force on you, the task of connecting as a couple is that much more difficult. You will find yourselves caught up in the pressure to perform at work or focused on raising productive children.
What you have to do, then, is set aside time once a week to talk about each other – nothing about work or problems at school or volunteer activities. It will be tough at first, but the focused time reminding each other what you appreciate about your dearest is crucial to the long-term success of your relationship. It doesn’t have to be a major event that includes dinner and a movie (though you should get out like that at least once a month), just some time together without distractions.
Try New Things Together
One of the major reasons you got such a rush of blood to the head (or elsewhere) early in your relationship is because of the novelty – you were doing everything together for the first time, which made it all the more thrilling. You can regain the energy of those first few months by taking up activities that neither of you have tried before.
Once again, you’ll both look on the experience with fresh eyes and, since you aren’t trying to impress each other, will probably have a lot more fun being carefree. Sit back and imagine, for a moment, what it would be like to learn ballroom dancing. You’d laugh a lot as you clumsily tried each step, right?
Check In Often
It seems like such a simple thing, but going over your expectations of each other from time to time is a key to keeping lines of communication open. This can be part of your weekly date or a separate appointment at the kitchen table – that is up to you – just make sure it is done with a spirit of honesty and respect. If you come together with swords drawn, it’s unlikely you will get much accomplished.
However, a frank discussion of the emotions either of you has will avoid resentment from growing. Begin with “When you…I feel…” and go from there. You’ll be surprised how much better your relationship is – and the depth you’ll gain is far better than the fleeting thrill you felt when you first started dating.
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