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Dealing with Backstabbers

Posted on :2012-11-11 in

One of the unsavory facts of life is that, from time to time, you will spend your days dealing with backstabbers.  No matter how polite and friendly you are, someone is going to attempt to rain on your parade by spreading rumors about you or actively working to keep you from succeeding at your stated goal. 

 

Insecure and unable to do something themselves, these two-faced individuals are more concerned with their own gains than anything else. 

 

Handling these distractions can be a real headache, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to overcome the challenges they present.

 

Dealing with Backstabbers

Wondering how to beat them at their own game?  Don’t.  Take the high road by doing these four things and, when their petty jealousies are exposed, you’ll have sterling reputation to celebrate.

 

Focus on You

It seems like such a basic thing to say, but the biggest problem with backstabbers is that they take your attention away from what matters most: you.  Sure, that’s part of their plan, yet it doesn’t mean you have to fall into their trap. 

This is not an invitation to begin spouting off about your own accomplishments or qualities – and especially not in opposition to theirs – but an opportunity to concentrate on the work you have to do or the enjoyable personality you bring to the table.  When you are below par because of a rivalry, they have an advantage.

 

Stick to the Truth

You know what has been said and what hasn’t, if a promise was made or was not.  Though this individual or group of friends is attempting to make you look bad, you must remember they have to bend the facts in order to do so. 

It can be difficult to keep this at the front of your mind if the secrets they pass around seem to be damaging, but the best thing you can do is answer the charges honestly.  People can tell how truthful a person is by the look in their eyes as they speak. 

And, if you are having trouble convincing people, you can simply say, “Believe what you want to believe, but I am telling you the truth.”  You’ll be surprised how many people take you at your word, if that word is genuine.

 

Welcome the Attention

Nobody likes dealing with this kind of disruption, yet there is a positive spin to put on it: you’re doing something right.  It may feel like quite the opposite, but virtue often brings detractors, either through resentment (“I don’t want him to succeed!”) or disbelief (“There’s no way she could do that!”). 

Take solace in the fact you are doing something well enough to be undermined by those who can’t compete, just keep from letting the fact go to your head – you’ll end up being the type of arrogant and selfish person they are saying you are.

 

Don’t Gloat

It’s human nature, when a ruse like this has been going on for a long time, to want to point a finger and laugh when everything comes crashing down on the person that perpetrated it.

The inner desire for justice makes us all want to say “I told you so!”  Avoid the temptation to rub the backstabber’s nose in it
when everyone sees through their underhanded choices. 

Instead, offer forgiveness and understanding (even if you don’t forget).  You might find they become an ally in the end.


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