How to Deal With Questions About When You're Getting Married
There it is; that dreaded question that tends to pop up near other people’s weddings and really at random times too, “So, when are you getting married?” Your first reaction may be to fire off a sarcastic comeback, but that may not be the best option in all situations. Here is how to deal with questions about when you’re getting married with class and style (ok, and a few snarky comebacks too).
Who and Why is the Question?
You may want to keep in mind who is asking the question and their possible intent for asking. Some people are actually very oblivious to how rude this question can be, while others are genuinely concerned such as parents wanting grandkids. Learn a few responses to this question for various situations and you’ll feel better and come out looking good.
First, let’s deal with the oblivious askers. If someone asks you point blank when you are getting married, a good reply is to return their question with a question of your own. This will typically make them stop and think, change the subject, or realize how they have come off. If they are married, ask them when it was that they got married and follow it up with questions such as how did you know they were the one? How did you know the time was right? Do you have any regrets? This switching of roles will often make them forget to get your answer in general, or you can simply tell them you found the conversation enlightening and you’ll think it over. Another way to respond to this is simply to reply with “why do you ask?” This will put the asker back in the hot seat, and perhaps make them think over why it is they are so interested in your personal affairs.
Honesty is Still the Best Policy
For those that ask out of genuine concern, the best approach may be honesty. Telling them that you are happy the way you are now, and that you are on the right path for you usually is a good enough answer for many, as they are often only asking as they want to see you happy. If this doesn’t work, you can always try a diversion tactic. Say not yet, and then fill them in on the news of another couple they may know who is engaged or change the subject to something in their lives such as how their children are doing.
How about those persistent people, jealous types, or nosy busybodies? Sometimes a snarky comeback really is the best. Try out “Oh, next weekend, I guess your invitation got lost in the mail” followed by a wicked grin. “Is it 50% of marriages that end in divorce now?” that is usually enough to change the subject. Really want to shut them up? Try “I sure hope it is before I start to show” and pat your belly or “When people stop asking us when”. You can also try “He asked but I said no” or simply “We aren’t”.
Remember a few of these replies and the next time you are asked that ever annoying question instead of stammering you will be prepared!
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