Can You Be In A Relationship and Still Be A Party Animal
Part of the internal struggle of men and women is to hold onto their freedom even while embracing the joys of commitment. Biologically, and socially, we have been accustomed to “hunting” or at least to being receptive to attractive strangers we meet, and may find it difficult to stop flirting and stop partying. We want to have our cake and eat it too, right?
Hard Partying Is All About Negotiation
So immediately, you must determine just how much freedom you desire, in exchange for an exclusive relationship. When you first became a couple, you determined those boundaries (though you may have blinked and missed that moment). If you desire more freedom than you know you have then it’s time to define the relationship. Unfortunately, not a lot of men or their girlfriends/wives are comfortable with the new “negotiations.”
While not every woman is a green-eyed monster, there are many women who do have set boundaries as to what they will allow their partner (the one who “represents” them, and vice versa, in a committed relationship). Obviously if one partner is hard partying in public without the other partner, it’s not merely an issue of jealousy. The other partner may not be comfortable with your wild behavior because it’s embarrassing, and that partner’s reputation suffers in addition to yours.
Yes, determining in advance what is acceptable is the best way to handle it. For example, a man might figure that he wants certain freedoms even within a steady relationship. He might want the right to go clubbing with his friends, or even to go to an adult entertainment club. If his girlfriend allows this, there is no problem. However, if his girlfriend sets down boundaries (such as, you cannot have an affair or flirt with other women as if you were single) then obviously some mutual decision must be reached.
Everything Out in the Open
The main rule of exclusive dating and commitment is that there are no secrets. Infidelity, for example, is hurtful not only because of the cheating, but also because of the violation of trust—the lie, the deceit. Therefore, rather than keep secrets or play dumb, it is important that you convey all of your desires openly and honestly to your partner.
With everything out in the open, your partner can help the two of you reach compromises which fulfill your needs, while also respecting your partner’s boundaries. This is why some couples might be okay with doing questionable things “as a couple”, for instance, flirting with strangers, watching adult films together or even swinging as a lifestyle. The point is, since everything is out in the open and communication is honest, both couples do not feel betrayed.
Remember, you’re not single anymore. And though we all like to give the “illusion” of freedom to our partners, there is no such thing as singleness when in a committed relationship. You have responsibilities to the family, to each other, and to your friendship. Figure the feelings out, find mutual respect, and the rest will come easy.
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