Trying to decipher the emotions of the average man is a lot like attempting to put baby clothes on an octopus: try as you might, getting your hands on everything is going to be a chore.
This is why sometimes you just have to come out and ask a guy if he loves you. Sure, it’s not easy, but it’s also a lot better than spending your days in limbo wondering whether or not he really cares.
Thankfully, when the time comes, there are four things you can do make the experience as easy as possible for both of you.
- Make Sure You Know Your Own Feelings
Before you take the step of asking an uncomfortable question, do a little bit of soul searching. Is this the kind of guy you want to love you? Do you see yourself pursuing a future with him?
Are you sure your feelings are as strong as you’d like his to be? Once you have settled these questions, you can walk up to him with confidence in your own desires, which will help you feel at ease.
- Don’t Apply Extra Pressure
In a moment like this, you may be tempted to lay your whole heart on the table before seeing what his feelings are. It seems as though it is almost a reflex for humans to explain their intentions when romantic relationships are on the line, but it might lead your man to feel like there’s a “right” answer regardless of what his true thoughts are.
You have one in mind, of course, but it’s better if he is truly on the same page. Opt for “You know, I think we have a good thing going and am wondering how you feel” instead of “I see myself having your children and raising them while you work. I’ve never felt that for anyone. Do you love me?”
- Keep from Making it Something Special
Ideally, this question will lead to a conversation about your feelings for each other, which means it should be as relaxed as possible. If you go to the step of having dinner at a fancy restaurant or finding the most romantic place in your city to have the discussion, you are creating an occasion instead of opening a dialogue.
Imagine how awkward it would be if the evening is ruined when he clams up because of all the strangers around. Choosing to talk about it while you’re out on a casual walk or on the couch watching TV is much better thanks to the privacy – he’ll be more open, which is what you want.
- Accept His Answer and Evaluate Your Feelings
Yes, you would like this to be the start of a deepening in your relationship, but he may not feel the same way. He could be in to you and want to pursue things further, but not quite ready to say the three magic words.
When you have figured out where he stands, you must be honest with yourself about where you are headed. If he doesn’t love you back, but thinks he might someday, you may owe it to yourself to pursue other options.
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