Tips to Cure the Infatuation Habit
They say the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but is it really true? If you believe it is, then you might need to cure the infatuation habit in order to have a solid relationship.
It’s one thing to acknowledge someone is attractive – there are animal urges we never totally lose – but it is entirely different to focus your attention on that person and fantasize about leaving your current sweetheart behind.
The bottom line, if you really think about it, is that you equate the thrill of pursuit with happiness and, unless you correct that mindset, you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt. Here are three things to remember as you fight the urge to run after the next big thing:
- The Animal is Not the Emotional
We have heard the phrase “sex sells” so much it is almost a proverb nowadays. Though we would all like to think our primal reproductive instincts are easily controlled, generations of evolution prove differently.
What separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to determine what is merely physical attraction from spiritual connection, something you must do in order to stop being infatuated with everything that crosses your path.
When you surrender this ability and focus instead on lust, you lose the ability to recall the supportive nature of mutual affection. Ruin soon follows, whether from unmet expectations when your advances are rebuffed or after a devastating affair.
- Think About What You Want
Most people wander through life without much in the way of real goals, flitting from one moment to the next with vague desires that are often trumped by momentary pleasures.
You can combat this tendency by sitting down to figure out exactly what you are looking for in a mate. Concentrate on the personality traits, as opposed to the physical characteristics, and you will create a strong personal foundation to link up with the right person instead of the flavor of the week.
Consider this: the most successful companies have a set of three or four core values that guide all their decisions. Why can’t you do the same?
Lay out the things most important to you – kindness, faith, sense of humor – and look for them in the people you interact with. The deeper bonds you form will help keep your eyes from wandering down the line.
- Acknowledge Superiority
The next time something grabs your attention and has you begin to daydream about what this or that would be like, turn your mind to what is wonderful about what you already have.
Chances are good the person you’re with has plenty of important qualities that make him or her a way better choice, not least of which is the fact you already know the likes, dislikes, strengths and quirks of that individual.
Imagine getting your way and having to learn them all over again – and likely finding out reality doesn’t match up well with the extravagant story you came up with as an excuse to chase someone else.
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