Relationships nowadays are incredibly challenging. The rapidly-accelerating pace of modern life means figuring out how to choose the right man to marry is more complicated than it was just two decades ago, let alone when our parents or grandparents were looking for the perfect fish in the sea.
There are a lot of factors to weigh in what makes the ideal partner, but taking the time to determine exactly what you want in a mate is a key first step towards finding the guy of your dreams.
With that in mind, here are three helpful hints to help you separate the also-rans from Mr. Right:
Name Your Must-Haves
Though we all want to believe that there is a perfect person out there for each of us, the reality is that we’re all flawed. The possibility you will meet the superhero with the great-paying job that allows him abundant family time is pretty slim, so you need to narrow down your list of main features to ones that must be present before you decide to go forward.
Laying out what you do and don’t want is a valuable exercise in any situation, but especially when it comes to marrying someone. If your faith is important to you, for example, then you’ll want it to be a central part of his character, too. Want to have several children? He has to be on board for that, as well. (Just don’t ask him on the first date.)
Stick to Your Guns
As you begin to parse through these different characteristics, you will probably be tempted to make compromises on those three or four primary traits you desperately want to find.
You might, say, meet a really great man that has closed his mind to your political views. When he measures up in so many other ways, you might begin thinking (or one of your friends could start saying), “Oh, that really isn’t that important” or “Nobody’s going to have everything I want.”
Though there will certainly be things for you to let slide, what you’ve identified as “must-haves” are not among them. Making allowances on your key qualities is an invitation for serious trouble down the road that is easy to avoid.
Look Where You’ll Find Him
Once you have created a profile for this guy, understanding what he likes and does not, you should be able to come up with some ideas about where he tends to go and the kind of people he would be friends with.
It may sound strange at first, but by narrowing down what type of man you want to be with, you will likely figure out where to begin going in search of him.
You might discover you know someone with similar interests, so describe the person you’ve envisioned to him or her and see if there’s a single male friend to introduce you to.
Pardon the analogy, but you are now like a hunter tracking a prized animal, so it only makes sense that you follow the trail wherever it leads – just don’t be embarrassed to do whatever it takes.
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