Breaking the ice with someone you find attractive is hard enough, but it becomes that much more difficult when you are trying to convince a shy person to be your valentine.
Try as you might, some people are just tough nuts to crack – that doesn’t mean you should give up on romance with them, though. It will take some patience and polite persistence, but there’s no reason you can’t launch a relationship with the quiet person in the corner of the room.
You have to be careful in how you go about it, but these three tips should help you open that flower gently and enjoy the intoxicating scent of love in bloom.
- Make Your Approach
Since the person you are pursuing is uncomfortable in social situations, you have to be extraordinarily careful to make them feel at ease from the start.
This means you will have to introduce yourself slowly and keep from feeling discouraged if the target of your affection is slow to respond. Step up and tell him or her your name, then make some polite conversation before breaking away after five or ten minutes.
You’ll have a chance to make a good first impression without lingering so long as to make your introverted romantic interest any more uneasy than he or she already is.
- Revisit The Scene a Second (or Third or Tenth) Time
It’s important, after you’ve made a first contact and given your crush some space, that you connect with them again within a reasonable amount of time.
If you are at a party, wait an hour or two before checking back in. Say something like, “Have you tried the crab cakes?” It’s a harmless way to initiate a new conversation and, if you play your cards right, get the information you need to secure a date some other time.
In an office or school setting, it’s much easier to stop by his or her desk or pick a nearby seat in class and continue to get to know each other. This process of becoming familiar is very important in helping people come out of their shell. Without it, your chances of securing a shy valentine are pretty slim.
- Don’t Ever Apply Pressure
Let’s be honest, when you are really attracted to someone, you are often even more eager as you learn more about them. Human nature in these situations tends to lean more toward testy impatience than serene tolerance, which may lead you to lash out.
You’ll be wondering “What’s taking so long?” while your potential sweetheart feels like it’s all moving along perfectly. If you begin to push too much to get your way, you will end up driving him or her off.
Respect the fact it may be a little while before you build up the trust required, but when you do it will very much be worth the wait. In fact, if you are a calm and steady presence for a long enough period, you may find you end up being the person who is holding things up – a great spot to be in with someone who is shy.
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