10 Ways Your Self Esteem Can Ruin Your Relationship
10 ways your self esteem can ruin your relationship unknowingly, with the person you feel you are so close. Self esteem comes from self assessment. One having good opinion about self brings self confidence which is a very important and essential characteristic that one should develop with time.
It helps one to improve and develop as an individual both personally and professionally. Having said so, it is also true that high self esteem or over confidence about self as also low self esteem and lack of confidence can be reason enough to ruin one’s relationship with partner.
While people with high self esteem hold unduly high regard for themselves, people with low self esteem are less appreciative and doubtful about their capabilities.
Insecurity about self is a kind of a disease that many of us suffer from. It should not be so high that it will cast a shadow on our relationship. One can always discuss insecurities with his/her partner as it will help one to come out of it and have a healthy relationship.
Self doubt –‘ whether I will be able to do it’; ‘whether I will be able to meet my partner’s expectations’, all these doubts makes one anxious and worried leading to mistakes. One should understand that relationship is made between two persons where both are equal and no one is testing the other or being judgmental.
Lack of confidence comes from low self esteem while high self esteem leads to overconfidence, both of which is not good for a healthy relationship. If one is not confident about self then how can he/she be confident about the relationship? Similarly one should not be overconfident about a relationship, instead should try to find out how his/her partner views it.
Communication gap may exist between partners where the one with low self esteem might not be able to express oneself clearly in partner’s presence. This might lead to misconception of one partner with regard to the other which may turn disastrous in the long run.
Assertive/Dominating nature is generally seen in people with high self esteem. Overpowering partner’s view point or decision more often might strain the relationship at one point of time.
Expectation from partner is natural but that should not lead to over expectation. People with high self esteem often assess themselves higher than others. This leads them to think they are one up in thinking, beliefs and values. Starting to assess one’s partner with regard to their own principles and beliefs might ruin the relationship slowly.
Lack of respect for partner, where ‘I know the best’ attitude prevails is a sign of high self esteem that may ruin a relationship. Disrespecting or disregarding the partner in public, not giving heed to what the partner has to say creates emotional distance in the relationship.
Comparison - Self esteem quite often is a psychological belief and leads to comparison between the partners developing superiority or inferiority complex and thereby spoils the healthy relationship. In such a situation partnership either continues in unhappiness or breaks down at a point when life becomes meaningless.
Social difference - As it is said human is a social animal. Self esteem can easily create societal difference and act as slow poison between a loving pair damaging the relationship eventually.
Incompatibility - Different levels of self esteem is an incompatibility factor and therefore a definite mismatch ruining a relationship. It creates misunderstanding between partners where no one is ready to compromise or only one compromising all the time leading to strained relation.
AAPOD : 20/05/2013
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